The more I am in God’s Word, the more I am in good Biblical community, and the more I dwell in His Presence, the more I know that I have put way too much focus on myself in the area of trying to live my life for God and not nearly enough focus on God.
All those years of trying to heed His Word well, years even of sacrifice and ministry work, I just didn’t grasp the full weight of everything resting on Him; the full hope, the full power, the full effect of any effort on my part. I fixated way more on my role than on His.
Did you, too, have years of agonizing over “will I know God’s will for my life?” Then when you did know you were obeying, were you focusing on your struggles, like whether or not you felt thankful, or strong, or good enough? Or do you ever let how you haven’t been spending time with God keep you from just doing it right now?
I know we have to think and take inventory and work on the areas of our lives; we can’t just mindlessly go through life. We have to steward what we have been given. But when the focus is on us all the time, how we are doing, and how we are either progressing beautifully or failing (or what seems to be a daily mixture of both)…aren’t we missing the point that life in Christ is actually our Refuge from the world, not our source of strife?
I have a challenge: Let’s acknowledge our life is a lot…a lot of not knowing what we’re doing, a lot of ups and downs, emotionally, mentally, and relationally. But let’s at the same time hear and trust and believe that our walk with God, our spiritual life, is firm and steadfast and a safe haven because HE has made it that. Let’s let Him be where we go when the other parts of who we are turn messy; let’s let humility and lack and need of Him bring moments of time with Him rather than self-focus, shame, or self-improvement projects! Let’s let our relationship with Jesus be the one simple thing in our worlds.
My personality wants to kind of rebel against these thoughts. But that’s the self righteous, prideful part of me that still thinks I shouldn’t need God quite so much and I should be able to impress Him at least a little bit. That’s the part of me that says, “Yes, grace, but…”
But there really isn’t a but.
When we see His love and mercy and strength for what it really is, we are hooked. We will live for Him like we never could have before.
God is the steadfast Lover, the well that cannot run dry. He is the One person, the One part of our life, with Whom we don’t ever need to feel shame and stress. He will change what He needs to change in us and it will not feel happy and fun as He makes us more like Him, but still, it will be His work in us, His idea, His power, to His glory!
This life will soon be done in the whole scheme of things, and whole new generations of Jesus followers will fill the earth. I think this is the message I will wish I could proclaim to those still on earth when I am in heaven – that it really is all about Him.
