Hi! Happy Wednesday! Man, I have been on the struggle bus for several weeks. Today and yesterday are the first days in WEEKS that I have actually WANTED to be anywhere besides my bed. So, if I saw you in those weeks, just know I made it happen by the grace of God! He is so awesome, and He did help me persevere. I hope that little season is over; that would be wonderful. It has a lot to do with sleep. Anyway…
I’m writing today because this morning at coffee we chatted a bit about the Enneagram and it got me all excited! The Enneagram is a personality tool that points me more toward God, my need for Him, my need and understanding of others, and being able to see not only how all of us (different as we are) are created in His image but also how much more we can bear His likeness if we can learn to identify and shed the false self.
What do I mean by false self? Read on ❤️
The most important point of this tool, to me, is to begin to understand that stressful life situations and self awareness as we were growing up led us to think we had to do or be certain things in order to be acceptable and presentable. To love ourselves, to be loved by others, to be loved by God, we need to ________. People point toward our certain attributes, calling them good or bad, and we face rejections and losses. In these times, we learn what is needed to try to bring equilibrium or better feelings to ourselves and others, all in the name of not wanting more stress, pain, and rejection to occur. Thus, our ego and our self defenses are born, and this false self (who I “should be”) shows up in different ways in different people.
I’m not an expert but I am considering going through the coach training for the Enneagram with Jeff and Beth McCord. They are also offering this training through the American Assoc of Christian Counselors! As I read and learn in some spare time about the Enneagram, and when it comes up with mental health coaching clients, I am constantly amazed at how quickly the Enneagram and this understanding of personality, motives, sin, and deep need sets us free. It sets us free because if our “Enneagram number” is a tiny part of the definition of our false self, how we decided we better show up in the world to be acceptable, then this number helps us see where we are not receiving Jesus and His grace. Our number does not define us, it defines and clarifies to us when, where, and how we are trying so hard to be -honestly- able to live well without Jesus.
Yeah. That’s pretty serious, right?
So I’m going to give a super brief run-down of one thing about each number. This is what I think each number could potentially be thinking and wanting, so much so that it makes life and peace with themselves, others, and God harder than it has to be- all because we are trying to protect our fearful fragile inner self, whom God already loves, cherishes, sees, wants to hold close, and wants to protect for us!
The point of this blog post is not to argue for the Enneagram, it is to see how we, in all our many ways, put our own selves in a position to block the way of God’s grace…He has come to set us free from everything that stands in the way of connection with Him. Perhaps you will see that one or more of these describe your inmost, deeply rooted feeling. If you feel like “I am nothing if I don’t do this particular thing”, that’s a really good indication to look more into that number so you can see yourself and then see how God wants to intervene and set you free!
1- Reformer- I need to make a difference and do what is morally right, unselfish, and “best” in order to be acceptable.
2- Helper- I need to serve sacrificially, noticing and meeting needs in order to be acceptable.
3- Performer- I need to have achievements and show something for myself at the end of the day to be acceptable.
4- Romantic- I need to have unique, memorable, and creative ideas, conversations, and relationships to be acceptable.
5- Investigator- I need to know all of the information, details, and options to make the most wise decisions to be acceptable.
6- Protector- I need to think through and be prepared for all possible negative outcomes, warning and providing for people, to be acceptable.
7- Enthusiast- I need to move past all negative or boring things in order to live an experiential, thriving, adventurous life to be acceptable.
8- Challenger- I need to make things happen, speaking up for myself and others, whatever it takes, in order to feel acceptable.
9- Peacemaker- I need to keep any conflicting feelings or thoughts to myself, going with the flow always, in order to be acceptable.
Are these terrible traits? No. But they are traits, motives, and yearnings that we are trying to achieve on our own if not redeemed by Jesus, powered by Him, and surrendered to Him. When these desires become impossible to achieve for different reasons, we feel guilty, angry, resentful, sad, discontent, and frustrated with whatever and whoever gets in our way. Whatever creates these emotions in me is something I personally want to be aware of! I pray that knowing these things about ourselves will help us see that, because of Christ alone, we are already acceptable! We can be vulnerable and we can open up with others about our weaknesses, because we are already good, with nothing to prove. Our traits and motives can become ways we are actually more like Jesus, rather than ways we try to stake a claim in our own righteousness or happiness.
