Weakness

One thing I have learned as an adult – a truth I actually really love – is that it’s okay to be weak.

Those A’s don’t matter in the long run.

That trophy will end up in your mom’s basement.

How long it took to run that mile isn’t really that interesting to anyone besides us.

How many times we had to take the CPA exam or whatever scary test of brilliance we personally have endured is quickly old news.

For me, it’s the fact that I finished college as Homecoming Queen and Miss Campbellsville University only to move to Africa and be so sick I had to come home.

For me, it’s the fact that I started to get my Masters upon coming home, but never got farther than the acceptance letter because I needed so much sleep and healing.

For me, it’s also realizing right here and now at 44 years old, that I have no real credentials that the world would give me any recognition for at all. If I wanted a full time income right now, my resume would be unimpressive despite the life experience of the past 20-something years…and not only all of this, but if I wanted to work full time, I would probably collapse of exhaustion on week two! That feels pretty weak when so many around me are pulling it off (somehow!)

So here’s the thing.

Okay, two things, that I have to remember and will pass on to anyone else who can resonate with what I’m saying:

  1. We are living for a different Kingdom and a different King than this world and man. Our understanding of strength and success must be different, too.
  2. We often think we are the actors on the stage and that this life, this story, is about us. But it’s not.

As sad as it may sound to some of us overachievers, our role in this story is not hero. It’s damsel in distress. It’s junkie in prison. Or worse.

The world needs to see this.

That we are the saved, not the saviors.

That we are the beloved, not the ones who loved first.

That we are the filled, because without Him, we are an empty shell.

The world needs to see 1 Peter 4:11, that we serve with the strength God provides, so that all glory goes to the Son.

The world needs to see a picture of grace and joy coming to people who have just as many problems and weaknesses as they do. 2 Corinthians 12: 9 reminds us that, truly, God’s power shows up best when we will admit utter dependency on Him, for His power is made perfect in our weakness.

So to all the regrets and failures, the pride and fear, the mistakes and times I was the weakest link, and to all the fault lines I’ll live on in the future as well:

“Thank you for reminding me I am not God and was never meant to be.

And to the Lord:

“Thank You for joyfully making a way for us to be fully reconciled and fully qualified for the most precious identity and calling we could have–to simply be Your’s.