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I Get to Serve the Lord!

I am so thankful! I am so thankful that God hears our prayers and wants to walk this life with us. I’m so thankful His Word is true and His heart is love.

Last Thursday, I finished my courses in order to be a Certified Mental Health Coach with the American Association of Christian Counseling. It was a wonderful program and I am continuing, working to add on a specialization in Biblical Counseling now. So far, every hour has been incredible, both for my growth and edification and for being equipped to help others.

Later that day, my daughter and I were scheduled to visit Asbury University, so we went and ended up spending a lot of time in worship and prayer as REVIVAL had broken out on campus! While there, I was wrestling with the Lord about several things regarding this “new calling” of counseling ministry. Here are some of the particular wrestles:

-I am just a coach, not a licensed professional counselor. Will anyone take me seriously? Is this just embarrassing? Is this humbling on purpose? (If so, I’m glad!)

-When I pass around a business card or meet with someone for coaching and prayer, am I trying to make myself sound “all that”? Am I prideful? Or am I actually just being obedient and faithful?

-Is it wrong for me to be SO EXCITED about using my gifts in this way? Is that annoying? Is that going to feed any part of me that is self-centered?

-What will this look like? I know the Lord told me to prepare new wineskins for Him to fill and I feel like He is telling me what those are, but how much time and availability do I actually really have? I don’t want to sign up for more than I can do while remained super-centered in abiding in Christ, my own health, and my home/family.

I could go on, but you get the gist of the anxiety.

As I wrestled with God and all my questions, the speaker at the front of the room said if you would like prayer for being salt and light in the ministry God has set before you back home (as many of us had traveled to be there), come up. So I did.

All my circular, messy thinking converged in that moment of just walking up for simple prayer.

It was a simple prayer. But I agreed and believed along with every word, and sometime in that day or the next, a joy bubbled up inside of me that said: “You get to serve the LORD!!!!”

I felt the Spirit saying: Stop apologizing. Stop talking about it. Stop making less of it or light of it. Stop making more of it, too. Every believer is called and commissioned to do this! Millions of us are to be filled with the Word, the Spirit, His body and blood, and with our spiritual gifts, edify the body and bless the world!

No, it isn’t about us. But knowing our gifts, knowing ourselves, knowing our God, knowing where and to whom He is sending us, is not self-centered or bragging. “It is not by might not power, but by My Spirit”, says the Lord. This has been covered. This is old ground.

Here are the precursors to serving. Do this and then GO in Jesus’ Name!

-Abide in Christ and His Word.

-Trust in the Holy Spirit and lean not on your own understanding, reputation, or self-image.

-Be still and know that He is God.

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Freedom, Day Four: Acceptance

Hello Friends!

Here’s my statement for the week–I’ve been dwelling on this for a while actually, especially on days that my Enneagram-labeled-Perfectionism tries to strangle me(!):

“I am free from the shame and disappointment of all that I am not. I accept my self and my life as it is.”

In adopting three little girls over the past nine years, I have spent a lot of time learning and then teaching them how important thoughts are–how important it is to feed our own minds! We have many coping skills and many short mantras to drag our thoughts and feelings out of the valley when frustrations, guilt, or other emotional dilemmas want to take us down.

We have to speak truth to our dear selves! God did not make mistakes in making us…and neither did He make mistakes in what He has called us to do or what our lives look like- past, present, and future. I am often plagued with this overwhelming thought that I should have went a different path with my life, that I would have been more valuable and usable to God if I had done things differently. I wonder why certain parts of my life didn’t “take off” like people thought they would. I blame myself for not working harder or accomplishing something I can be known by. I let my mind wander into confusion, guilt, blame, sadness at what I’m not…until I can no longer see the truth.

But here is truth we can speak to such accusations:

God has written our stories and we are deep into one of those Handwritten chapters right now. He has a plan!

When we gave our lives to God, those lives became HIS.  If we are growing, listening, and obeying to the very best of our knowledge, we can rest in His design and ability to change things when HE wants to.

There are different seasons. Some of the things that are on the back burner might come to the forefront again someday. We aren’t failures just because there is some untapped potential in there!

And lastly, the Holy Spirit. I mean, really. Who do I think I am feeling frustrated that I haven’t done more, been more? I am NOTHING! I am whatever the indwelling Jesus–the Holy Spirit–wants me to be! I do whatever the indwelling Jesus–the Holy Spirit–wants me to do! Unless I am living in known sin, do I really think I can surpass what my friend HS wants to do and be in and through me? What a relief to be free and let the Holy Spirit really have control. To be aware of His presence. To see HIM produce HIS fruit in me. To see HIM change me and make more more like Jesus (which mainly looks like me learning humility as I mess up and apologize 10,000 times).

We can accept our selves and our lives as they are as we stay in connection with Him because He is big enough and good enough to lead us if and when it is time. Our life is not a frantic race to do things for God. It is a daily opportunity to be loved, love the Lord and others, and live in specific obedience.

No regrets!

 

 

 

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Freedom, Day Two: Serving

Oh my, how this can be a tricky subject. Christians definitely fall on every point of the spectrum in regard to service in the church and the world. There are those who believe no amount of sacrifice is ever enough and there are those who believe no sacrifice is necessary because we are just here to glorify God by enjoying life. Despite what we are told sometimes, this is what God is telling me:

I’m free to serve with the strength and resources God provides, and I reject all compulsion to do more.

See, I’m extremely sensitive to this Christian pep rally thing where we come together and someone yells at us to do more and be more for the Kingdom. Jesus speaks to me in a whisper. He knows my heart and He knows your’s, too. When you give your life to Him, there should be a constant unraveling of your life and your wants as He builds the tapestry of your new life, the one that looks more like Him and His wants. If that’s not happening, talk to Him about it! If you aren’t more compelled on the inside to live an unselfish life, Jesus’s life is not being formed in you and y’all do need to have a talk! He will gently do that transformation; He’s the only One who can. But being told no matter how tired you are, no matter what you’re going through, you should be fostering kids, you should be giving more money, you should be teaching this class…nope, nope, and nope. The only “should” I can say is that if you are a believer, you should be spending time with Him in the Word and then you will grow in using your gifts and sacrificing how He says to.

Just to unpack this a quick minute more:

There is fleshly compulsion and there is Holy Spirit conviction. (Very different!)

There is serving to be known and needed, and there is serving for an audience of One.

There is a mentality of prayer and wisdom, and there’s the mentality of “Well, this has to get done and no one else will do it.”

There’s trust that God really does have the causes you care about under control, and there’s the blaming and judging of others (or yourself) for not doing enough.

A few questions you can ask yourself when trying to decide if you are being convicted by the Holy Spirit or just a victim of guilt and compulsion:

-Has God given me the time, strength, and resources to do this ministry, to invest in this relationship, to take on this task or commitment?

-Are there other commitments He has given me that would clearly be ignored or done poorly if I do this?

-Is there anything I can rearrange financially or in the schedule that is possibly self-serving or a little too focused on my family, in order to make a space for this opportunity to serve? 

2 Corinthians 9:6-15 and 1 Peter 4:7-19 have much more to say on this topic, and I encourage you to check these passages out! When we serve in the strength He provides, we are a loving and even happy member of community giving all the glory to God. Is that the model you see in your church? Is that how people would describe you? 

It can be.

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Small Update and Prayer Requests!

There have been hours of discussions and pages of details, but I’ll just share the most important things…

One, we need connections and prayer regarding getting Orlanka to a TB specialist this week in Haiti. Our agency representative, who has been very proactive in this situation, will be there this week and wants to take her somewhere to have our own x-rays and tests run. Of course, doing a sputum culture (the 8 week test) is not on the agenda, but there are other shorter tests that could give us some clue as to whether or not she is sick. Also, just to see a doctor who can combine all we know and give an informed opinion would be amazing, as we medical un-professionals (bless all the visitors to her creche who give me eye witness reports) are just speculating all over the place! We do have a few people with contacts in Haiti who are generously trying to help us, and we have the name and address of a clinic/lab.  We are so thankful for this, but through the weeks as we dig into possibilities, we learn things that are so discouraging, such as certain hospitals in the capital being on strike?! You can’t make this stuff up!

If you know anyone doing medical work in Haiti, please contact me…yesterday! 🙂

Please pray our rep will be successful in her long list of tasks this week! 

Two, our advocate at the Embassy was able to get an answer from the panel physician who ordered the test. In short, he is not allowing her to come home now because her chest x-ray was so bad. However, the good news is (as crazy as this sounds), now that we have translated versions of her past three years of radiologist reports, we know that her chest x-ray has always been bad. She has extensive damage to one of her lungs, scarring from the past case of TB and I don’t even know what else. If the panel physician (a doctor the Embassy hires to do medical visa appointments) had seen those x-rays from the past, he may have had a very different opinion, as he could have compared them and likely would have seen no change. We have learned that from an x-ray you can’t tell the difference between disease and damage. This is hopeful news! Our rep is going to try to see this physician and share the information we now have.

Please pray the panel physician will be available and willing to re-consider, with this new information, or that our rep would be able to get an opinion from a second panel physician.

Either way, our hope is that by this time next week, because of our rep being in Haiti, we will have many questions answered about Orlanka’s past and current treatment, how she is feeling now, and Lord willing the results of a current sputum smear which could give us a good idea of what is going on. We also hope to learn what steps would come next, should we end up on the 3rd and 4th case scenarios. Tomorrow, I’ll be calling an Infectious Disease Dr. in Louisville, thanks to a connection someone made for us, and our pediatrician here is also busy answering questions and helping us start on the Form 601 Waiver of Inaccessibility if she tests positive and is denied a visa. We won’t know until the end of August, I am told. 🙁

 

Please pray with us for a good report and knowledge that would help us get through the next 6-8 weeks of waiting. 

I do want to say: God is so faithful. I was scared of this kind of ordeal happening, and spent many hours in the past year praying it wouldn’t. But God does give exactly what we need once we find ourselves in this place. The fervor to investigate, make bold phone calls, become experts (not really but you know what I mean)…He has allowed a few other issues in our lives to calm down a bit so we can focus on this. The Body of Christ is praying for us and growing in ways He wants. All of our hearts for Orlanka and Woodjina are doing The Grinch Who Stole Christmas heart bursting out of the box thing. Our agency representative has proved to be a strong and persevering advocate who is taking this situation personally. And even as I am writing this blog, I received an email back from a doctor/director of a medical ministry in Haiti, who is trying to get an appointment for Orlanka.

We can get stuck on why this stuff happens in the first place (yes, I was there for a few days for sure) or we can see Jesus’ words come to life: In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world! 

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Sister Bridge 2014: Why We Do This

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Hello Friends!

I am really excited to be kicking off our fourth season of Sister Bridge. Can you believe in three short seasons we have sent back over $35,000 to these women overseas? I am so grateful for giving this idea a try…Several years back, I ordered some product and kept ordering more and more as women in Kentucky absolutely loved it and wanted so badly to help women in much different circumstances than their own.

This year, my health has been pretty rough again, but I was still led to order these products and say, “Lord, it’s Yours. Sell it if You want! I’ll do the little I can.” I was so compelled because of the stories I have heard this year. I’ll share a couple with you.

First, when I contacted the women who runs the ministry of Beads of Java in Indonesia about ordering some more jewelry and ornaments this year, she told me that last year our order literally kept the ministry afloat. She said it may have closed down if it wasn’t for that order. And mid-Spring 2014 as sales were low, one beadmaker decided to take a job in Macau instead of stay in Indonesia working for BOJ where she was safe from human trafficking. The missionaries were so sad to see her go, because it could very well be that she was walking into a terrible situation. This ministry exists to keep women from having to turn to slavery to have food on their table, and we are proud to support them and all they do. You can help BOJ by going to their website and purchasing Christmas gifts, booking a party, or ordering and selling mass amounts like SB does.

Second, I read a book by Holly Prosser, about her life story, her adopted daughter, and her adopted daughter’s birthmother who is still living today in Ethiopia. To make a long story short, I feel like I saw a movie as I read that book; I watched a birthmother who had already run away from an abusive husband have to take two of her children to an orphanage because the only job she could get was prostitution and she refused to let her daughters grow up in that environment. As a lover of adoption, I have to say what any of us who love adoption would say: Adoption is redeeming a bad situation and helping a need. It is beautiful and we are honored to be a part of it, but adoption is only fixing something that was never meant to be. Mothers were meant to be safe, loved, and able to take care of their children, period! But since so many are not, adoption exists. Anything we can do to keep mothers safe, loved, and with their children, we will do with all our hearts…And ministries like BOJ, Timbali Crafts, Cooperative Outreach of India, and Rahab’s Rope are doing that!!! They are keeping women from having to work degrading jobs with tyrant bosses, they are providing safe and godly community and friendships, they are offering hope in the gospel of Christ and counseling, and they are changing lives.

I could say more but I’ll save it for another day…

May God bless these precious and sacrificial missionaries and ministries around the world who are taking care of Jesus as they take care of the most vulnerable women and children in our midst. And may we stand alongside them in this calling!

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Bring Back the Wonder

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We all have days where colors are brighter, every word has meaning, and we want it to stay just like this forever…

Then we all have days where we feel grey, discontent, just old and done. Our callings feel less sure, our blessings feel more like burdens, and our joy is slipping through our fingers.

It’s a really beautiful thing to have a God thatwants to take these realities and help us with them.

It’s a really beautiful thing to have a God who is waiting for us to ask Him to make life new again, to make all these components of life come alive once again!

So let’s pray for this together–

Our Father, Lord, Friend, Helper, Great Resurrector,

In our bodies–our getting out of bed, our walking, our talking, our eating, our work and our play– please bring back the wonder of it all like only You can.

In our homes–our calendars, our finances, our family table, our conversations, our dreams–please bring back the wonder of it all like only You can.

In our marriages and relationships–our helping, our praying, our giving, our supporting, our listening, our loving–in this privilege of partnership–please bring back the wonder of it all like only You can.

In our parenting–their faces, their noise, their character, their hearts, their schooling, our pivotal role to play in their walk with You–oh Jesus, please bring back the wonder of it all like only You can.

In our ministries–on the street, in the store, to the Body of Christ within and without the Church, to the poor and the broken and the lost, in prayer or in physical action–please bring back the wonder of it all like only You can.

Come make it holy, because it is. Come make it precious, because it is. Come make it meaningful, because it is.

Amen.