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How To Deal Now

It’s easy to write about God’s faithfulness after the battle is won, isn’t it? But what about when you’re in the middle of it? What about when all you can see is how you feel and how you’re messing up and what you wish you could handle better? What about when you don’t see what God could possibly be doing? What about when you’re torn between caring about your own mess and a much bigger mess worldwide?

The wars in Ethiopia, Ukraine, and Israel do the same thing to our psyche as the pandemic: they make us see what was always true, that nothing is sure and our control is an illusion and our normal daily life is a GIFT. All of that, the tension of these sentences, is a trap laden with guilt, fear, and a sense of responsibility. We struggle to have room for pain, loss, and processing in our lives but we are desperate for that space. We struggle to make room for prayer, too; we have never been more desperate and in need of being with the One who holds it all in His hands, Who grieves, Who sees the big picture, Who also speaks and leads, comforts and dwells with the lowest!

Would you agree that we as a culture, at least here in North America, do not know how to cope with disturbance and distress?

We are frustrated, saddened, and inconvenienced by our own struggles and others’ as well. The need either wakes us up or makes us want to hide in bed. We sometimes grab onto coping mechanisms or notice more erratic thoughts and behaviors because a sense of “I don’t know what even matters anymore” takes over. (And our teens and the next gen are feeling this even more than we are.)

But thank God, after painting that picture of my real internal struggle, I do actually have something positive to say here, brothers and sisters! I want to share some practices that are helping me live where I am in the moment, in gratitude and connection to God, but also allowing deep caring of which we all want to be capable.

1- We must acknowledge and accept that tragedies, and our inability to do a lot about them, are having an effect on our body and mind. We need to notice when thoughts like “you shouldn’t feel this way” or “your stuff isn’t even that bad” run through our minds. We have to accept weakness, accept that we don’t love how we feel, accept that struggles are affecting us, and also accept that we cannot fully fix what is broken about ourselves or others’ situations. It’s ok. We accept our place. We calm; we choose to be still and know that HE is God.

2- We bring our real self to Jesus. Why do we think we need to be strong all the time? Why?-when the very gospel is grace! Apply that grace to every shortcoming and everything about yourself that you wish was more or better or enough. Apply that grace to every soul around the world today, knowing that when they call on God in whatever language, whatever tongue, they will feel His presence! Hallelujah! Grace upon grace! It is ours and theirs in Christ Jesus. He delights in our receiving it way more than He would delight in our striving to not need grace! He is the Strong one; we are allowed to be shaky, unsettled, needy. Matt. 11:28-Come to Me, all you who are weary and I will give you rest. We can bring our sadness to Jesus as well as our weakness; we can bring our anger, our fears, and our numbness, too. He can truly and completely handle it. He loves His children, He loves us all.

3- We need to get the heck off of social media, constant news, talking heads, and video reports, as well as just brain-numbing scrolling through things that don’t matter. There are news sources to grab basic info: we can use them for that purpose and then stay off our phones or use our phones to connect to people we know and love! Take a break from the normal places you scroll or at least minimize it to one or two 30-min blocks a day and spend time with people in your home, church, neighborhood, and community.

4- I am going to get out my smallest Bible and carry it around instead of my phone. I’m not kidding. From what I hear and internally feel, if there was ever a time to do this, it is now. Our rock solid Hope is in Jesus and His Words, but if we aren’t dwelling on them, it’s a gold mine buried underground! We need to be changing the reel in our mind with His truth. His Word is the antidote to fear, guilt, and chaos. He tells us what matters and why. His Word narrows things down and simplifies what we are to be focused on and fighting for.

5- We really must pray, not just talk about or think about praying. Really do cast your cares and others’ cares on the Lord, really do raise your voices, knowing He hears. Really do intercede on behalf of brothers and sisters around the world. Really do read prayer emails from boots on the ground ministries (like Global Catalytic, City Serve, Embracing Hope Ethiopia, and so many more). Really do spend time talking to Father God, knowing Brother Jesus intercedes on our behalf and Holy Spirit leads, guides, comforts, and sends.

6- This one will sound a little shocking (if you know me well) but I’m going to say it: Enjoy your life. We have got to enjoy our lives! We do not need to buy more or do more, we need to enjoy what we have and be thankful and content. But what resources and assets do you have right now that you don’t even enjoy? People, games, art supplies, time, skills; don’t feel guilty to LIVE. God has you where you are. Right now, whatever we have, whoever we are with, let’s enjoy them. Let’s thank God for them. Let’s be generous and grateful. Let’s show the greatest respect for mankind that we can, and that is to celebrate freedom and the dignity of human life, living an example of contentment and gratitude and painting a picture of how it should be in a safe and loving world.

7- Let’s make sure to ask God how He wants us to give. Not if, but how, when, where, and to whom. “It’s Your’s, God, where shall I send it? I’m Your’s, God, where shall You send me? Make me a vessel of Your love and light, Lord. I lay all that I am before You, for such a time as this. I am not much but what I am is Your’s. Live through me.”

8- Praise the Lord, let His praise be on our lips regardless of our feelings or a dark cloud we may feel we are under. It’s ok and normal to feel like we are carrying a grief, shaken by things we don’t understand or aren’t even experiencing ourselves!! It is normal to feel off, tired, sad, out of it…and while we accept that, bring that to the Lord, stay in the Word (rather than constant barrage of the world), pray, and give, we also choose to lift Him high. When we praise Him, we are changed and I believe when we praise Him, things change!!! Pound the enemy with the praise of King Jesus who WILL COME AGAIN, who does see and hear and act, and who is present on the scene.

This is my hope for every human heart. That the same God who comforts and conforms me is available to ALL who will call on Him in their darkest night.

It’s okay to admit the night is dark and that we are affected greatly by it. It’s okay to not feel or be awesome in the shaking. Why? Because it was never our faithfulness or work or ability on display-it was God’s.

God is faithful. GOD is faithful! And He always will be.


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Righteousness & Restoration at the Cross & the Empty Tomb

As soon as I understood the significance of Jesus dying on the cross for me and rising again, I was thankful. I was in awe. I knew it mattered, even if I hadn’t lived a lot of life yet.

Then after some times of wandering, when I truly saw my sin and felt shame for the first time, the cross held even more value. He was willing to carry my punishment and give me a clean slate. That amazed me and still leads me to amazed, thankful, worship today.

Now as I study trauma and try to reconcile what cannot be reconciled – a good God and the rampant abuse hurting innocent people – I stand in awe of the cross of Christ and His resurrection for new reason. And I want to elaborate on that a little bit today in an effort to explain what I’m beginning to grasp!

Jesus took our sins we have committed upon Himself, and that made us righteous – justified- just as if we had never sinned.

We know this and celebrate it well.

But He also took upon His body and psyche the sins committed against us, the things done to us, and that made us capable of total restoration.

How? How does the cross and the empty tomb promise total restoration of these griefs and traumas we endure?

Just as sure as we can believe in the total righteousness He earned for us on the cross, we can believe in the total restoration He earned for us in the resurrection.

Will we sin? Yes, unfortunately. Will we undergo trauma at the hands of others? Yes, unfortunately. So, yes, we do have these realities in our lives!

But the weight and the power that the sin and the harm had has been stripped of its life altering agony, in Jesus’s name.

That weight and power was placed on Jesus INSTEAD and He overcame it. He overcame the hopelessness. He overcame the shame. He overcame the despair. He was crushed, but didn’t stay down. He made it to where what should have ended us does not have to.

Because of the cross and the empty tomb, all wrongs are given the proper wrath from God.

That wrath either falls on the sinner, who is unrepentant, or it fell on Jesus. The rightful wrath of God is no longer upon any of us who plead the blood of Jesus over our lives. We are forgiven and can walk away from the heaviness of our own sin, and we can know that those who have wronged us are being held into account, 100%. When we want God alone to be the accuser, the judge, and the executor of His wrath, we have stepped into true forgiveness and can even pray for our abusers – Lord, have mercy, because He takes sin more seriously than even we do. He can take our wrath we are holding against ourselves and others, and fully execute it rightfully. When we stop carrying wrath and unforgiveness, we are already moving toward that total restoration that is ours in Christ!

Satan can no longer keep a victim bound to their brokenness nor can he keep a sinner bound to his sin.

He was reduced to merely lying to people about being a slave to the power of sin and the power of trauma. Oh yes, they’re real. But the weight of these things, the eternal baggage, was ALL put on ONE MAN at ONE TIME, thwarting Satan’s plans to attach sin, pain, and trauma to ALL MEN at ALL TIMES.

In the resurrection, Jesus showed He was able to endure this and literally get up and walk away – restored to new life! No one in the world could do that besides Him!

But now, because He did, so can we.

Will we? That’s up to us. Satan wants us to think we can’t, but that’s a lie. Our sins and the sins done to us do not have the power we thought they did, in Jesus’s name. Just as total righteousness can be ours in Christ Jesus, so can total restoration!

While I’ll never understand why some aren’t protected from the worst of mankind’s sins, at the cross and the empty tomb I see Satan’s plans for that sin and trauma declared empty and powerless for all who will believe in Jesus. As we suffer, we have hope; as we wait for the redemption of our bodies, our souls can be well as we trust in Him, the One who has felt it all, hit the ground, and got back up again.

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What Grief Feels Like To Me

I was driving last weekend and the Lord led me to this thought:

Grief is not a problem to be fixed, it is a process to be fostered.

I am in that process.

For me, it is a different type of grief than the death of a loved one, it is the grief of change in relationships. While there are details that make it harder than I expected, I was aware I was going to be grieving at this time of my life. My oldest is about to graduate, and I have home schooled her almost all of her life. There are specific things I am really concerned about for her, things that are for the most part out of my hands and in her’s and God’s. We are very close and she is going away to college in the fall. She won’t even be that far, but I know that I am going to lose a piece of myself not only as she goes, but as she grows. She is becoming whoever she is going to be. I am going to eventually have to get to know her again and what I have with her, and who she is, and who we are together, very well might be very different. The precious thing about this is knowing our attachment is so real…otherwise, my heart wouldn’t feel so happy and sad, excited and terrified, at the same time.

It’s important, in grief work, to understand that there is no going back to normal. I know that sounds really sad, and that sadness, that gravity of reality, is hard. But even that is important in the process. Thinking we can go back to normal should never be our goal; in fact, that would be quite insane, right? We would never actually get there, yet keep wondering why. It’s impossible and we have to eventually accept that. Time, hurt, bringing things to the surface, prayer, understanding people’s real feelings and choices (whether we like them or not), and the process of grief transform us, for the good or the bad, but we never actually get to go back. Instead, here’s the hope-filled part: As we allow grief its rightful time in our life, we catch glimpses and ideas and even dreams of what the next phase, the next “normal”, can look like. There is a life beyond this one, even here on earth. Phases and seasons…we can learn to love them.

God made us resilient. He really did. That is in each of us, by the grace of God. There are gifts I have found in grief…Here are a few:

-The gift of allowing myself to feel everything, without guilt or cheering myself up

-The gift of tears

-The gift of sleep (especially important in the early hours of traumatic events)

-The gift of unexpected silliness or laughter, which is never anything to feel guilty about

-The gift of time, how remembering events, words, and sensations becomes gradually less shocking, jarring, and stabbing (Depending on the severity of the trauma or loss, the longer this takes, but it does happen, by God’s grace.)

-The gift of truth to hold onto

-The gift of the closeness and comfort of God, and the knowledge that we don’t have to do anything but let Him be there with us

-The gift of friends, family, and community

-The gift of counseling

-The gift of acceptance

-The gift of faith

-The gift of slowing down

-The gift of just sitting and looking out the window and letting it all pass, as uncomfortable as the stillness might be

-The gift of knowing such a love in the first place

-The gift of knowing perfection was never needed, regrets can dissolve, there is grace

We don’t have to know it all. We don’t have to contain in ten steps how to grieve properly and get back on our feet again. We just don’t get control like we want. But there is good, there is God, in it all.

“Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21

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November

I haven’t done my usual Wednesday blogging in almost a month.

It has been a hard month…for so many people. The last blog I wrote was about believing, choosing to believe, that God is enough for those who are grieving or doubting. And that is what I have been doing as I wait and pray.

I’m thankful that God brings new opportunities every day – every hour really – to be filled by Him, to be renewed, to remember. Otherwise, how could we do this? How could we keep going? His Spirit and His Word really are our water and food. Our inner man can live abundantly, even in all this.

There were losses and funerals…there were painful conversations…there is chronic illness and questions and pain…there are severe issues in young lives that I care about…several in my immediate family were sick…and God keeps saying “hold on to Me.”

As a “helper”, as a listener, prayer-warrior, mom, wife, and friend, it can sometimes be hard to keep holding on to Him if I am holding on tight to others “in need.” When my focus gets on myself (and how I feel), or others (and how they feel), I begin to sink.

This isn’t about detaching from others, but it is about embracing the reality that my role is actually to keep my eyes on Jesus while asking others to join me.

Again, again, again, again – The exhale comes when we put our eyes on Him. When He is in His rightful place, we can be in our’s. That’s where rest is. That’s where strength is. That’s where joy is.

What I learned in November, again: It is no longer I that live but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2:20

Hang in there – by holding on to Him.

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Believing God for the Grievers

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

There is so much grief surrounding us right now.

I have been thinking about how in many parts of the world, that grief never lifts.

I would assume many people become numb to it, becoming accustomed to constant loss.

But most of us here in America aren’t accustomed to constant loss, death, disease, epidemics, or the absolute worst: having a child die before their parent.

But in our community, over the past few weeks and thinking back to a few years ago, we have lost so so so many young people. Each of their families will never be the same, and there is a somberness we all feel in knowing that. I think that’s appropriate. I think we are learning sorrow and joy can co-exist and they must. I think we are learning life is short and we have to stay focused on what truly matters.

Lately, I’ve been telling my kids in light of college applications, test scores, making teams, having a boyfriend or not, all they could worry about, etc. : All that really matters is your peace with God.

Emphasis on God.

How do we carry the pain of grief when something so final and so terrifying happens to someone we know?

We humbly and confidently expect God to show up in the fullest extent of His power and love for them.

We boil it all down to Him and what His Word says He is and what His Word says He can do.

We place our TRUST that HIS power, HIS healing, HIS closeness, and HIS sufficiency is going to rush in, comfort, hold, mend, strengthen, uphold, counsel, and bring life to the grievers – to those left behind to learn how to live again.

We join in their grief by joining in their faith, upholding their faith even if they can’t feel or say or believe anything right now.

I don’t know the right words to say, and this message isn’t for the grievers. It’s for those who love those grievers. As we give money, support in any way we can, help with kids, clean or cook, show up to memorial services, cry and sit and visit and send cards, or pray from afar, this is what we hold onto…for them, for ourselves, because reconciling loss affects us all.

Every one of us will go through loss and sorrow personally. When we do, what do we want people to do for us? What do we want them to hold onto alongside us?

For me, I know the answer.

I want people to trust the Lord with me.

I want people to trust that God is going to reveal a part of Himself to me in my raw heart break that I have never seen before.

I want people to trust that because He lives, I can and will face tomorrow.

As we mourn, as we question, as we despair, as we numb out, as we lay there, as we cry, as we try to function again, we can also believe that God’s power can and will do the impossible.

If He can make a crumpled hand stretch out…

if He can make lung tissue begin to swell with breath again after days in the tomb…

if He can forgive a murderer, if He can welcome all of us into perfect eternity after all our failures…

if He can promise resurrection life of our actual bodies and our actual souls so that anyone who comes to Him will never die and never be lost for good…

He can make a way for grievers and sufferers to thrive again – attached to the Vine, bearing fruit, living, loving, giving, breathing, glowing, reflecting His light in a dark world – consoling others in their afflictions in the same way they received consolation from God. And until that day, He can live in their heart and mind and body through the power of the Holy Spirit and give them each breath that they need, each thought that they need to make it another day.

I choose to believe this. I choose to believe He will be who every mourner will find with them at the very rock bottom of their pit. I choose to believe we daily need to feed our faith so that when it is our time, while we still face all the horrors of physical, mental, and emotional trauma, we know there is only One whose fellowship, whose closeness, can really heal.

For anyone reading this now, the Word of God is alive. When we eat of it, we become more alive. If death is surrounding your heart and mind, He is calling your name out of death and into life–calling your attention to Him and a life in the Spirit, an inner life that will never die. As we sow seed to this inner life, this life in Christ, the things of the world become less important and the mind set on the Him is life and peace. (Romans 8, Colossians 3, Isaiah 26:3) This life is passing. It is shakeable. But we are called into a life hidden with Him, and His refuge, His arms, are there for us every time we cannot handle our earthly senses another moment. He longs to hold us, renew us, and then send us back with new strength. (Isaiah 40:31) Let us grow and deepen that part of us that cannot be shaken.

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Husbands & Wives

I love to plan and set rhythms.

I love to know how I will start and end my day.

I love to start new Bible Study workbooks.

I love to be alone and I also love to gather others in just about anything I get into doing, be it exercise or selling handmade items for women in third world countries.

I love to save money, give money, and use money for traveling.

I love a good health goal and I don’t mind committing to hard things.

But sometimes, I’m not sure if you can relate or not, wink-wink, my spouse doesn’t get as excited about certain things as I do. (What?? I know!!) And the reality is, I don’t get as excited as HIM about certain things either, so we are probably pretty even.

That can feel like a bummer…even worse, it can really make a person feel like they aren’t on the same team with their spouse. They can feel resentful or like there is no hope of things ever changing.

Sometimes it is the actual disagreement of values that make you feel not-so-synced, but sometimes it isn’t that at all. Sometimes it is more the lack of communication or the lack of knowing how to communicate or…maybe…a wrong heart attitude.

So, the Lord and I were talking about this yesterday.

Very clearly, I felt like God was shifting my heart to see something new: I, wife of 21 years, Christian of 31 years, have some entitlement issues.

How many times have I started caring deeply about something and then inadvertently made someone else, most usually my husband, feel “less” for not jumping on board? Just because I want to save for a trip to such and such, or I want to do this eating plan together, God may or may not want to give me that or have me do that…and do I blame God? Not usually. Usually, I blame my husband and maybe…maybe…he blames me in times the roles are reversed. It is in a vague way, probably a super vague way, maybe even unknown to us, but still…

So God gave me some checklist questions to help my heart…and maybe other husbands and wives out there, too.

  1. Have I prayed about this hope/dream/plan/idea before bringing it to them?
  2. Have I determined whether this is a want or a need? Once I have done that, am I willing to present this humbly and honestly as such, rather than acting like those wants are truly needs?
  3. Am I able to share, but not expect? Is the outcome surrendered to God, knowing HE is the giver of all good things?
  4. Am I aware of who has to actually DO the WORK of making this idea happen? Am I keeping that in mind as I bring it up? Is it a fair request when you imagine being in their shoes?
  5. Am I willing to listen to questions, feedback, and alternatives, keeping a good attitude?

My Bible reading today (besides my morning listening to my favorite Read The Bible In One Year podcast, at mjblack.com) was Colossians 3.

As I read Colossians 3, I was amazed at how it spoke into this conversation I had with God about my spirit of entitlement…

I hope you’ll grab a Bible and read it for yourself, but here were some highlights that struck me about the heart attitude I need when I look at my future shared with another person:

-Desire what is above, not what is on earth

-Embrace your new nature

-Be thankful

-Wives, submit to your husband

-Husbands, love your wives

-Fear God

-Whatever you do, do it for the Lord

Whether it is a super serious, even a life or death thing, that you are asking your spouse to move toward with you, or just a small thing like keeping a calendar synced a certain way or budgeting–our heart attitudes, commitment to prayer, and applying Scripture to our problems and desires matters.

Since we are called to peace, and since we are to set our minds on what is excellent, even in hard times, even when genuine needs are unmet, even when one of us on the team is not “pulling our weight” in some way, even then: We can focus on something we are doing well together, something he or she is giving effort and attention to, something for which we can show gratitude and respect.

I’m excited to see how the truth can set me free in this area…What about you? What is hard for you about this? Where are you in this process?

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2020

It was supposed to be a time of vision…clear 20/20 vision.

I have shaken my head wondering how this year could be so lacking in that one virtue!

But today, I saw a different perspective.

It’s important to note that 2020, the pandemic, the election, and the police issues/riots haven’t brought fear, racism, and ugliness, but merely exposed them.

We are now seeing what was already there in our culture, in our hearts, in our trust (or lack of trust) in God. Our weakness may have been veiled by busyness and routine and ease. We feel like we are walking in a daze now, but what if we were walking in a daze then instead?

Can we choose to see, can we focus, on what matters now?

God is the God of 2020. He is the Lord and the King! He is still the Savior! He made this year and every day in it. It is not a dumpster fire, it’s a refining fire. It’s not cursed, it is blessed. We can choose to see.

God is not confused or scattered or complaining. He is so steady. He is so stable. He is so good. He can handle every big emotion we can bring. His arms are open. He isn’t ready to write off this year. He has so many good things to accomplish!

2020 is peeling back the skin and opening up the ribs for an emergency open heart surgery, and we are propped open and exposed. All year long we have felt tender to the touch. What part of our hearts, what valve, what artery, needs repair? Individually, collectively? In society, in the Church?

Our reaction to this surgery is only step one. Many of us are stuck there.

2020 is not over. Can we take this “2020 Year of Vision” and say it is truly time to seek the Lord, see His hand, and see our next step?

I love the old hymn so much—

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

and the things of earth will grow strangely dim

in the light of His glory and grace.

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Safety

The word safety. It doesn’t cross my mind very often at all, honestly. I am not a worst-case scenario thinker, ever. But I didn’t realize how much the word safety mattered to me until this weekend.

No, I wasn’t physically scared. Nothing happened to my kids. At least not that I could see or hear. But in some time of prayer and studying God’s Word with other women, I was able to see just how the word safety made me feel and how I was missing it in my life, and how I wasn’t helping others around me feel it very well, either.

I have known for a while, probably since the schools didn’t open back up like they normally do in August, that I was struggling with fear and anxiety. Fear of failure, fear of difficulty beyond my ability to cope, fear of a breakdown, fear of looking irresponsible to others, fear of other people’s emotions and reactions, and fear of my own emotions and reactions were gripping me all day long. Once I could put words to it, that helped but when the Lord brought the word SAFE to my mind, I felt everything in me EXHALE.

I am safe. No matter what. Jesus and I cannot be separated. His love cannot be bound to the same earthly rules the other people and situations play by. I am not God, I am just me, and I am safe. And the other what-if’s are so lesser that they now feel irrelevant.

Then I began thinking about my kids, and their tears when they try to read and understand a paragraph as I homeschool them, but ask them to attempt something independently. Their shutting down when I, with frustration, let them know I’m disappointed that a job wasn’t remembered…again. Yes, they need to learn responsibility for school and work; but we have a lot of focus on that already. No one will ever accuse me of skipping that lesson! But was I teaching the lesson, am I teaching the lesson, that they are safe. Held. Okay. Enough. Emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally. Always.

I’m not going to be perfect, they’re not going to be perfect. But I am safe in the love of my Father and my family, and they are safe in the love of theirs’. That is something to breathe in deeply and celebrate!

Our job is remind ourselves and remind each other…in both word and deed.

I speak safety to you, in the strong and sweet name of Jesus, who made our calling and standing in the favor and kindness of God the most solid thing we will ever ever ever ever own.

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Top Ten List: Practices I Promise You Won’t Regret Starting This Year

As we start off the New Year, I’m thinking about some habits and choices that  I want to do or already have done in years past — choices that have the power to really enhance my relationships and life for the better! I want to share ten of these practices in the form of one of my very favorite things: A LIST!

  1. Sponsor a child or sign up for monthly giving! I highly recommend the following ministries: worldvision.org, compassion.com, empowerhaititogether.org, embracinghopeethiopia.com, lifesongfororphans.org, ijm.org, and persecution.com
  2. Work to memorize Scripture! Aim for one chapter or one really meaningful passage, or verses about a particular issue with which you struggle.
  3. Ask God whom to put on a daily prayer list. As you pray for them, send a card sometimes to encourage or at the end of the year, let them know you prayed for them all year!
  4. Read aloud a devotional or inspirational biography at dinner or bedtime or before school at least once a week as a family.
  5. Make a change in your diet, even if it is to only add one beneficial food and remove one harmful food for the year. And can I squeeze into #5 to exercise at least 15-30 minutes per day?
  6. Put on your calendar a quarterly, if not monthly, ladies’ night/men’s night or coffee date with a friend! No one is going to do this for you; make it happen!
  7. Plan 12 dates with your spouse if you are married. Even if they are “couch dates”, write down the ideas and put them in a jar to pull out or put on your calendar once a month. Get the sitter a month in advance. We can do this, y’all! When we are old, we’ll be sorry that we didn’t…It’s good for the kids to see us date, too!
  8. Live in community, inter-generationally! Seek out relationships with older and younger people; write down the story and advice of at least one older person this year and seek to serve them this year.
  9. Pow-Wow! Give the closest people in your life a chance to share their heart daily, in two categories. Ask them what was great about their day, and listen (this is their Wow!) Ask them what was difficult and what they’d like to sort through, and listen (this is their Pow!) You can do this with friends, roommates, spouses, and definitely kids and teens. I do this as I put my kids to bed each night and if I “forget”, they do not. 😉
  10. Plan a day or weekend anywhere from 2 to 12 times a year where you get away from people and re-think schedules, goals, relationships, health, etc. Read, watch inspiring movies, be quiet, journal, be in nature, and let God renew your mind, heart, soul, and strength in solitude.

We are responsible to take care of ourselves (mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually)…our immediate family, our marriages, our kids that won’t be kids for long…the least of these among us, close by and around the world…the elderly…but we get busy and sometimes just live on autopilot! Whatever your choices are this year, let them be YOUR CHOICES. Whatever you spend your time on, whatever you commit yourself to do, let it be thought out and deliberate. What you decide today is a little bit who you are tomorrow. 🙂

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When You Don’t Know How to Pray: Six Simple Prayers

Whether it’s a friend in the hospital, a family in the roughest season of their adoption journey, a natural disaster that has ravaged a country, or an ambulance driving by while you’re putting groceries in your car…something inside of us knows we need to pray. It’s innate, because God wants to let us in on His heart and actions for people.

I have went through the questions, like, “If God is good and loves people, then why do we need to pray? Will He not move on their behalf anyway, because of His own goodness and mercy?” I don’t know the answer, but I do know this, and it’s the most important thing I know about prayer: Anytime, anywhere, and with or without anybody, we can ask for a fresh revelation of the love of God and the presence of the Holy Spirit to appear and HE WILL DO IT. He will always be happy to reveal His love, either to us or to others, near, far, high, or low. He will always be happy to permeate any place with His Spirit, in increasing measure, AS WE PRAY. Y’all, that makes me want to pray, because this world needs a touch from the Lord and we can pray that in!

So, when there were several major prayer requests on my heart last week, the Lord gave this to me in my journal and I wanted to share it with you. It’s six simple prayers for when you feel led to pray for those in the human trafficking industry, missionaries having safety or health issues, or the news tells of another merciless earthquake.

  1. Lord, send Your Spirit in increasing measure to comfort and convict; send a fresh revelation of Your love and care!
  2. Raise up the local church around them, Lord, to hear Your voice and literally be Your hands and feet!
  3. Jesus, I ask that You would dismiss Satan and any plans he has to steal, kill, and destroy in this situation.
  4. Please send missionaries and aid workers, people of peace and angels of mercy.
  5. Lord, take over my finances and show me any money You want to be shared.
  6. Send me. My eyes and heart are open, now please open doors of opportunity for my family and I to step in and be part of a physical solution, if it is Your will.