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What We Need

Why do we as Christians feel like we are complaining when we try to work through something in life that is just not working?

Ugh! I hate it.

It keeps a lot of us stuck.

It actually often makes us forget there are options, that it takes time to heal wounds, and that we don’t have to wait for things to be extremely terrible before we do something about them–which often leads to doing something drastic or regretful.

There is a difference between complaining/ruminating on negative things, and working through them.

I know what it’s like to secretly wonder how long you can keep on going like this and the first step is to acknowledge things aren’t working without guilt.

We can actually look at a problem, laying out the facts and the feelings, and know that God is not laying guilt on us. He may very well convict our hearts, but that would be a good thing, an opportunity to actually move forward. We don’t need to be afraid to face the root of our struggles.

However, maybe it isn’t even the guilt from God we are afraid of: I’d say normally it is our own self-judgment, because we make an internal judgment about just about everything we think, do, say, or experience with others. (Maybe more on that another day – it’s a concept that has been life changing to me!)

We judge very harshly that we are tired, or depressed, or unable to complete something we started. We make judgments that affect our beliefs and our hope, judgments that God would never say about us. In doing this, we make our problems worse because we somehow believe we are bad for having the problem.

I have been in the place where that low key misery, the not really living or believing things could be better stage – and feeling guilty for it – was a way of life.

Whether it was genuine brain fog, depression, or just lack of focus –

Whether it was a season of sickness or simply a time of growing in something that was not my cup of tea –

Either way, it was hard and I had to determine what, if anything, could change. I had to see that the changes were mostly within me – how I was going to respond, what I was going to believe, where I was going to place my focus, and when I was going to make time for processing, praying, and anything else I personally needed.

I had to let go of my overwhelming sense of obligation to everyone.

I had to put a little rest, fun, and chill into my life without feeling guilty about it. (Yes, I’m a One. If you know, you know!)

I had to find out from the Lord what is mine and what is not mine to carry.

So here are my questions:

What do you need? Can you specify your needs out loud or on paper?

Think in lists or brainstorm in bubbles – categories – What do you need physically? What about mentally? What about emotionally? What about spiritually? What about socially?

Have you told the Lord these needs and opened your hands before Him?

Do you believe God wants to meet your needs? Do you believe you matter enough to Him to be heard and thought of?

As we know, God allows massive suffering all the way down to tiny speed bumps in our lives. He has a purpose and a plan in them, to aid in our process of sanctification, to bring us closer to the real reason for life – our True Joy, Jesus – and to give us opportunity to comfort others when they face similar inevitable pain in this world.

But even in the midst of that fact, from the inside to the outside, God cares about us and we matter to Him. We are told to cast our cares on Him; we are told to bring our petitions to Him; we are told to do this without ceasing. He is the God who moves on our behalf but we have a part to play in the process!

We are also told in Scripture to bear one another’s burdens and comfort one another, reminding each other of the Lord’s plan and return! That means it is more than okay to share the load when you are feeling all the hard things.

Small changes can make big differences and that first step might be to believe that God loves you and cares for you, that this season will not last forever, and that He wants to bring you to a place of strength and peace right where you are.

No guilt.

Grace and peace to you, in Christ Jesus!

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Freedom, Day One: Balance

So, really quickly, I’ll start by saying about a year ago, the Lord really began speaking to me about freedom–how there is so much freedom He wants to give for my life but I had to take hold of it for myself! I had to face areas I was struggling in (I was amazed at how many there were when I really sat down and thought about it) and I had to hear His truth that wanted to set me free.

What I’d like to do in this “blog series” is share my specific “pillars of freedom”. I’m so excited to know these truths and seek to remind myself of them when I’m feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or confined. Anybody out there ever need just one sentence to hang onto, for real? Well, here we go with the first one I scribbled down as this process began:

“I am free to mess up in my search for balance.”

AAH! Thank You, Lord! We are free to mess up in our search for balance. Whether it’s trying to eat healthy or not spread yourself too thin amongst work and home, friends and family, the takers and the givers in your life, balance is so incredibly hard. You want to go with your gut feeling sometimes instead of your to-do list. You want to live on the wild side (get that tattoo, spend that money, eat that cake for the love!) but you also want to not freak people out, actually have money, and lose a few pounds by this darn particular date!

My big balance issue has to do with being a tired introvert and genuinely, desperately, needing time alone to think, sleep, be quiet, read, write, sing, be. But I am a homeschooling mom of four and my husband is an extrovert (of course!) Just when I’m done teaching, putting out emotional fires and making the 33rd meal of the day (or is it just 3? Really??), there’s always more…and I love it all, I love them all, but in the end, I may have 1.5 hours a day to myself, which is used for the most part for self-care necessities. And that’s great, I’m lucky to have that. But the balance, for me, is off.

And while we are working on it, there is freedom to get it wrong. To go too far one way. To even fall on the tightrope altogether. It’s not crazy to take (literal) notes about what worked in a particular week’s search for balance, and journal about what did not. We must evolve and learn as we sink and swim. But man, doesn’t it feel good to take the guilt away when we don’t get it right? The lack of balance is a life-sucker, but the guilt about not being able to figure it out is even more of one.

God came to set us free from guilt, shame, and condemnation. Are you becoming more like Jesus in your days, even if you don’t please everyone’s expectations or even your own? Are you growing in connection with Him and seeing some fruit of the Spirit? THIS is what life is about–not some perfect balance!

We are free to mess up in our search for balance.

Thank You, Lord.

 

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So Much Freedom

A word that God continues to bring me back to this year is Freedom. Oh, I long to grasp what He is trying to give me! He is saying, “Lyndsay, there is so much freedom.”

Freedom from guilt. I struggle so much with guilt, and it is not from the Lord! Conviction, specific conviction, is from the Lord, but not guilt. Some of the things I feel guilty about is not having time for people outside of my home, like extended family, old friends, all the way to people around the world. This weighs heavily on me and God is calling me to just look to Him and trust HIM to give me opportunity to serve them when HE leads, not just because I feel a tug. I can’t give more than I actually have. I also struggle with guilt about not finding balance. With my health conditions, I really must eat well, sleep a lot, handle stress with prayer, yoga, exercise, and just keep a pretty regular routine. It’s frustrating to get sick and think it’s my fault, when I simply ate some sweets at a party (ok, several parties…Christmas is hard! Vacation is hard! Weekends are hard!)  I know the Lord is telling me that I need to operate from a heart of desiring wisdom, not rules or perfection or feeling trapped. He can work through me even when I’m down and out, but He gives me the freedom to choose a better way. He even gives me the freedom to choose joy and peace if I am sick. He gives me freedom to forgive myself and start again.

Also, another big one is freedom from fear. I have always thought of myself as fearless because I do it whether I’m afraid or not. My faith, because of God’s real presence in my life, has always been greater than my fear. Going to live in other countries alone, getting on stages, I wasn’t raised to do that! It doesn’t come naturally. But my purpose is stronger than my feelings. But fear comes in other forms. Like fear of disappointing people I love, fear that I won’t live up to the potential God wanted for me, and fear that I will forget and be left without valuable truths I’ve learned and priorities I have been given, beautiful memories and seasons of life. These are real fears! I am not strong enough to combat them on my own. But still God is saying, “Lyndsay, there is so much freedom.” He doesn’t want me focusing so hard on myself nor does He want me focusing on what may happen later. He gives us freedom regarding what we choose to focus on, isn’t that awesome?! He wants to set me free from trying to control what does or doesn’t happen to me and those I love. The more I trust Him, the less concerned I will be because my eyes are on who He is and on obeying Him in this moment. When your good Father is also your King, there is peace should you choose to accept it! And all we really have to give Him is this moment, right?

I think freedom comes when we let go of what we thought we had to have–to be happy, to be good, to be loved, to live a purposeful life–and we embrace that there is only One thing we actually are promised, only One thing we can keep in life and in death, and it’s not our family, our potential, our wise choices, or our legacy…it is the love of God. I am wrecked by the love of God! When I let it hit me, when I let that wave of His great love and mercy hit me, I can’t even see anything else. Even if all the guilts and fears and other issues were true and actually happened, I’d still be here, lost in the wave of His undying affection for me. It doesn’t mean we never think about anything or anyone else, it just means once His love takes the place in our lives that it deserves, everything else falls into lesser categories.

That is so much freedom.