Adoption and Finances Update :)

Wow, time flies when you’re having fun! And we certainly have been.  My parents so graciously took us on a trip to Disney and the beach, meeting up with my brother, sister in law, and nephews; our families had a blast together! It was a great kick off to the summer…and I couldn’t help but think that maybe it would be our last trip before we get to go to Haiti? Who knows?

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(A little Haitian child–Not anyone we know just to be clear!)

So, an update is overdue for all of our friends and family who have been praying and giving to our adoption!

First of all, a HUGE thanks to all who gave to the Lifesong for Orphans matching grant; we are so happy to report that over $7,000 was given! $3,500 will be added because of the matching grant, making that whole grant about $11,000. We also received a grant from Show Hope for $6,000. We feel so honored to receive these grants and gifts, and are so grateful for the people who wanted to be a part of this. And of course it is not too late!!! These grants, gifts, one yard sale, teaching lessons, selling CDs, plus the savings that by God’s grace we were able to give back in October when we started our adoption all leads us to…drumroll…about $28,000. (Um, can you believe that!!??) We still will need approximately $22,000 for our fundraising efforts to be complete. We are doing one more yard sale, a Both Hands project, and also a concert/silent auction/meal night this summer or fall.

Anyone who feels led to give can make a tax deductible donation to Lifesong for Orphans, with Taylor Family #4310 on the memo line OR online. Their address is PO Box 40 / Gridley, IL 61744. Their website is www.lifesongfororphans.org. Even though the matching grant is complete, it’s definitely not too late to give, and each dollar is a blessing and a reminder to us that we aren’t alone in this. 🙂 God has called certain ones to walk beside us…Such a gift that is in this step of faith!

Second half of the update–Our dossier was officially accepted by Haiti’s government on February 27, 2014. We are hopeful that our adoption will be completed within two years of that date. Our agency (All Blessings International) and Haiti Coordinator are amazing. We genuinely can relax knowing they are doing a great job advocating for children in Haiti, and doing a great job advocating for us as adoptive parents. It is awesome that Haiti allows input from the agency coordinators and the orphanage directors when it comes to making a match; this allows the best matching possible, because these people know the children the best (and through our home study and phone interviews know us also.) We have asked for one or two kids, 0-6 years old at time of referral, either one girl, two girls, or one boy/one girl. If we get two, one will definitely be younger than Yemi (6 in July) but the other could be her age or even a few months older. We wanted to be as flexible as possible and if we do get two children, they will be siblings.

It’s a long journey ahead but it’s kind of like planting a tree. If you want a shady yard and beautiful thick oak trees, you can’t just transplant them! You have to plant little saplings and take care of them and be patient…The point here is that if you never start the process just because you hate how long it takes, well, don’t expect to ever have those shade trees! 🙂 So the seeds have been planted…and a lot is happening behind the scenes while we wait.

I’m just grateful to BE HERE. I’m grateful, SO grateful, to even be IN the process at all. I’m grateful for our agency and my peace of mind. I’m grateful for God’s heart for the sparrow–and that I get to share in the beating of that heart. I’m grateful for people who say, “Thank you for letting me be a part of this!” That blows us away. We are grateful for you. I know we will get to return the love and support as YOU follow HIS great plans for you.

 

The Cross

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I will never, ever, ever, ever stop singing about the Cross.

And let me tell you why.

The Cross was the one act in history that made a sinner like me holy. When Jesus willingly died to pay for my sins and all my failures, rebellion, and just plain lack, the veil between me and my Creator was torn in two. When He laid down His natural born rights of Son for that short time, I was given a robe of righteousness, a seat at the table, a friendship with God. It’s like we swapped places. And why? Because He loved us and wanted to invite us in the family. He called out to the beggars on the street, the ones who had nothing to offer back to Him, which quite frankly is you and me. Jesus obeyed His Father even unto death on a Cross so that His Sonship could exponentially grow, being granted by grace to anyone who would take it.

Sometimes we wake up from a wonderful dream, like a dream where all kinds of problems were solved…but we wake up to reality and realize the turmoil hasn’t been resolved at all.

With the Cross though, the story is true. Our debts really are paid. Our prayers really are heard. Our Father really does see us as sons and daughters. Our Brother really did give His life for us. Eternity in Heaven really does await. The Spirit really does comfort, teach, and remain in us for every minute of every day that we will recognize His presence. The goodness is real. Our minds and bodies and emotions have trouble reveling in it, it seems, but that doesn’t remove the reality that the goodness of the Cross is real.

I need the Cross, friends. I am a mess! There have been times in my walk with God where I didn’t think of myself as a mess much; I thought of myself as quite a good little worker bee for Jesus. I knew I was saved by grace and not works, but being the independent, ambitious person I am, my focus was more on myself and what I was doing for the Kingdom than on the Cross and my extreme gratefulness for it. (So sorry to whoever was around me those days!)

But by His grace, He relieved me of my pride and confusion.

I’ll never forget the day–Selah was about six weeks old–I was an exhausted, burnt-crispy minister mess. I remember saying to God, “You know what? I have been serving You so much, and it feels like I am never going to get where You want me to be and do all I think I’m supposed to do. I give up!!” I had planned to be a full time missionary and that had fallen through. I was serving in various ways at church, but having a newborn baby and a chronic illness that very few people seemed to understand (or have compassion about) was making me literally unable to do anything for anyone outside my home. I felt like a complete failure for the Lord. I hadn’t even considered giving up being who I thought He wanted me to be for Him…but when the thought crossed my mind, it sounded so good. To finally not expect the impossible out of myself! I’ll never forget that moment.

This is going to sound funny and weird, but I actually said to Him, “I give up trying to be on Your special team of people You call to do Your work. I don’t know what that means for my future and all I thought You said we were going to do, but I give up trying. I trust that You have forgiven my sins and love me, and that’s all I’m going to worry about right now. I’m letting go of all that other stuff.”

I feel like God breathed a sigh of relief, because I finally got it. I didn’t know as I prayed that prayer that I was “getting it”, not at all actually. I was heartbroken. I was saying goodbye to an entire way of life, really the only way I knew to be. But I was saying hello, automatically, to being Mary weeping at her Lord’s feet, just saying thank you for taking someone so unhelpful and so unworthy. When we become ruins, it really is a gift. I am convinced that being a Christian is mainly about receiving. Any giving is because we first received anyway.

As my kids are older and I feel better most of the time, the Lord has allowed me to “minister” again, but it doesn’t mean to me what it used to and it is powered by thankfulness for the Cross.  I live in ruins, I live in knowing I can’t do it, I live in giving up trying to be something awesome– and I pray that transparency and weakness simply gives Christ room to shine through.

The Cross. It’s always there, when everything else falls apart and when we don’t know anything else for sure. We can always come back to the Cross.

 

Yemisrach & Nadia

Friday night was truly a momentous night at the Taylor household.

Five years ago this month actually, we met our daughter Yemisrach at Enat Alem orphanage in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. The ride there on the bumpy dusty roads, the laundry line of tiny socks and clothes going across the compound, the sounds of lots of little voices…the door that stood between us and our baby…walking in and seeing her, in real life, for the first time…These are all sights and sounds I will never forget.

Yemi had had a little crib-mate for about six months, and this little baby was being picked up by her parents the next day. We fell in love instantly with our baby and were basically carried on cloud nine back to our hotel.

After Yemi came back to the hotel with us, we met the others also adopting at that time (they had been doing a small tourist trip to see the country) and the next day her crib-mate, Nadia, was brought to the hotel, too. We saw each other a little bit there, but mostly we all hung out in our rooms with our newest daughters! We all flew home together, but parted in D.C.

That was five years ago…

On Friday, Yemi’s sweet little crib-mate and her parents and sisters took time out of their vacation to drop in and share a meal with us at our home. They live about 8 hours away. We had the most wonderful time!!  Here are a few pics!

 

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We genuinely cannot believe how alike these two girls are! They have such similar silly personalities, and ultimately they can be summed up in two words: These girls are life-lovers and leaders.

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It really does leave me speechless, though I try to put it into words, how beautiful it is for these, especially these, girls to be life-lovers and leaders.

29,000 children under the age of five die every day, mostly in third world countries such as Ethiopia, and most deaths are from preventable illnesses. That’s 29,000 kids that didn’t make it to their fifth birthday.  

These girls made it, and believe me, they are more than just surviving. They are living it up, and helping all those around them do the same.

I can’t imagine my life without my Yemi, whose name means “good news”. I simply cannot imagine her not being in my family and my life.

And looking at the other end of the equation, I cannot imagine her without parents. Those of you that know my Yemi, can you imagine her on the streets of Addis Ababa? I wonder if those eyes would gleam as they do today. I wonder honestly if she would even be alive. I’m not “tooting my own horn” for adopting…that was my honor, an undeserved honor. My heart in saying this is that those 29,000 kids were also something special, something to be cherished and taken care of and adored.

Child sponsorship, fostering, adoption, mothering, teaching– any part that you can play in the life of a child– is an unequaled task. Truly unequaled. If you are doing any of those things right now, I want to speak directly to you and say:

Your presence is enough. Don’t look for a bunch of other stuff to accomplish for a legacy. Your service to them is truly a service to Jesus Himself, who said “Whatever you do for the least of these, you do it for ME.” Until they know how to do life on their own feet, they must have an advocate, a guide, a nurturer, a caretaker, a friend, and a prayer warrior! You are invaluable, and what you’re doing is changing the future of the world.

Yemi and Nadia are success stories, my friends. My piercing desire to “make a difference” in impoverished countries after being a missionary in Mali will never be fully satisfied, but it led me through the adoption and sponsorship process, and is leading me there again. We are in a position to do something about those 29,000– just one at a time, or maybe 2 or 3. Not because we think we have the potential to erase that statistic, but because that’s who we want to be, standing for hope to the very end.

The Body of Christ rooted us on in our adoptions, we could have never done it alone, and we are forever grateful for the gift we’ve been given with our daughters. They now have a mother, father, oodles of grandparents, friends, and dare I say, best of all, sisters! Here’s a pic of the girls with their sissies!

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Curbing Sugar Cravings

I’m thankful to say I have never used drugs or alcohol, but sugar (especially combined with wheat/flours) is powerfully addicting, too! In the same way that these dangerous substances can make a person feel like they have no power to stop using and consuming them, sugar has the same effect. You can hate yourself for sticking another cookie in your mouth, yet actually keep doing it. “Why are you hitting yourself, why are you hitting yourself”, I hear Satan chanting! Realizing it’s addictive is an important step, and knowing also that sheer willpower isn’t enough for most people, is quite liberating.

So what are some things that help- some things beyond just knowing what you’re supposed to eat and not eat and hanging onto those facts for dear life? Here are some ideas that help me…most of the time 🙂 Also, before I get into this, I want to say that I think eating sweets with friends and family some times is a good thing. This post is for people like me who struggle with eating too much, or alone, or too often. So here we go, some choices that may PREVENT STRUGGLE and DEFEAT:

1) Prayer– Duh, right? But seriously, if you want to live in freedom from ANY addiction, you need God on your side…and He IS. But sometimes we need to stop, look up, and let ourselves sink into His presence. All of a sudden we realize we are not alone, and maybe He’ll even give us the presence of mind to see past the moment into the rewards that wait for making the right choice. Any goal we make for ourselves, any desire God has put in us for wisdom and freedom, will require starting each day asking Him for help and humbling acknowledging that when stressful events come, You will need His help.

2) Self-Talk– Take some time to think through the conversation that you have with yourself right before digging into something you didn’t plan on eating and wish you didn’t want. What are you saying? Is it “I deserve this” or “I’ll just have one”? Is it “I have no choice, it’s here, and I know myself well enough to know I’ll eat it eventually anyway” or “I’ve already messed up today so I may as well go ahead and have all I want”? Figure out what dumb lies you are feeding yourself  and have a response of truth! For example, if it’s “I’ve had a hard day, I deserve this”, your response would be: “What I really deserve is something that will make me feel great, a gift to my tired body, not something that will make me feel worse both physically and emotionally!” And then give yourself that–a hot bath, or pencil in movie night that night, or check off days on a calendar that you go without sweets and when you get to 30, go buy yourself something! Be kind to yourself…Snickers bars are NOT kind.

3) Breakfast: Don’t skip breakfast, ever, and make sure it is protein packed and very little carbs. I don’t even eat fruit at breakfast. Keeping the sugary taste out of my mouth is crucial to me in the morning.

4) No refined carbs: Breads, buns, tortilla chips, potato chips,  gluten free or not, will turn around and make you crave sugar. I think fruit, potatoes, brown/long grain rice, quinoa, etc are fine personally. They are unrefined carbs and I kinda feel like if God gave them to us, then they’re good…but I understand that’s up for debate! If those unrefined carbs make you crave sugar, then go for awhile without eating them and see how you feel. I genuinely don’t recommend going carb-free, but just having one or two small servings a day of unrefined carbs.  If you go carb-free, there are some physical repercussions to your kidneys and if you go back to carbs at some point, your weight will come back so quickly. 🙁

5) Exercise: Exercise makes you feel great; endorphins are sweet! And when you have exercised, you are less likely to “mess it up” with doing something bad for yourself like eating sweets!

6) Plan: For most people, they are not going to want to say, “I will never eat this or that again.” Maybe it’s a good idea to pick out some events and holidays that you will have sweets, and when you have cravings just remind yourself that you will have the chance to have your very favorites then. We are big kids…we can do the delayed gratification thing!

7) Sleep: Get plenty of sleep, friends!!! That gives us automatic presence of mind to not do, eat, and say thoughtless things. Also, the hormones that are excreted in large amounts when we’re tired are dangerously similar to hormones that make us feel hungry. We usually can’t feel the difference and consume extra calories when we really just needed sleep.

I am convinced that you have to personally believe the facts you have read about sugar to make a difference, and you have to make changes in your lifestyle to ward off disaster instead of always picking up the pieces! But no one can do it for you, it’s an internal thing…a change from the inside out, because you really want freedom and better health.

Let’s Journey as Well as we can!! That’s being a good steward of what we’ve been given!

 

Getting Started (On a Budget)

Once you have a bit of knowledge and believe it’s true, it’s time to get started. Some people make all their changes at once, usually because a health scare convinces them to! Others do it because that is their personality. But most of us need to realize it is okay to make changes gradually. It is silly to think “I cannot afford organic meat, fruit, and vegetables therefore I will continue to eat at McDonald’s and buy Little Debbies.” There is a middle ground. Also, there are rungs of the ladder. I have never been a McD’s and Little Debbies eater, thanks to my Mom, however I certainly wasn’t a quinoa and coconut oil eater either. Wherever we are on the ladder, at certain intervals in life we will learn more, believe more, and move up a rung. There’s no shame in being where you are. There are definitely some things I eat still that people ahead of me on this health path would cringe at…I am still learning.

I’d like to talk about  basic foods and meals you can start with that are whole, real, inexpensive foods. A couple things first:

*The hope is that eventually all the things in boxes and wrappers and fast food drive throughs would simply be crowded out, because like I wrote yesterday, these things eaten on a regular basis are making the systems of our body stressed to the point of pain and disease. As they are crowded out, you are feeling full and satisfied, your digestive system will be working better, and you just won’t have room for the other stuff. I am so thankful to report that a healthy fat at every meal/snack will make you feel better and more full that junk ever did…otherwise, I could not have done it. No reason to be hungry, folks! I just have to say it…”Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

*The foods I am going to mention are not completely unprocessed, because like I said I am coming from a place of middle ground. If I said you had to grind your own peanut butter and make your own almond milk, you would be done with it and I would, too. But it’s a step in the right direction, and each of us have to see which of these minimally processed items works for us and which do not.

At ALDI, my favorite grocery store and a genuine gift from God:

-Eggs (I eat two for breakfast. It is the only breakfast that makes me feel awesome until lunch! Eating eggs dropped my cholesterol like crazy, and the healthy fat/protein ratio is fantastic. Eat eggs!) You can have breakfast for one person for 6 days on $1.29!!!

-Oatmeal (Cheap and easy in the microwave! I add cinnamon, 1 tsp of honey, and frozen blueberries to the kids and they love it. I personally don’t like oatmeal, but its very good for you and I eat it when I have to.) There’s another breakfast you can have for one for about $2.00 a week.

-All natural PB- Eventually I will go to an even less processed type of PB but right now, this is what we do. It’s a good protein/fat combo and I eat a tablespoon of this for a midday snack with a piece of fruit a couple times a week. I think it’s a great, inexpensive thing to give to kids–smear 1 tbsp on apple slices–and their snack cost $.50 at the most.

-Raisins

-Spinach/lettuce/cucumbers/mushrooms/tomatoes/4 kinds of peppers/onions/potatoes/sweet potatoes/etc– The way I get my veggies in is I have a cup full of raw veggies at lunch and then a huge salad with at least 3 handfuls of spinach and other veggies/leaves at supper. I also put spinach or kale in my protein shake. Personally, I have no problem feeding my family white potatoes a couple times a week, if you were wondering. It is a starch so I would also have a green veggie with it, but sometimes they just need something like that to help them fill up.

-Fruit (organic or other)- I usually get 4-5 different types of fruit per week. I eat at least one piece a day at lunch or snack and the kids have at least 2. Produce can certainly add up, but if you aren’t buying snack cups of applesauce, fruit roll ups, etc anymore, you may find more room than you thought in the budget. I rarely leave Aldi’s having spent more than $65. When you eat fruit, have a protein and if possible a little fat with it, to keep your blood sugar stable.

-Chicken- I get a frozen bag with 8 breasts in it for about $6. It would be ideal to get organic but I’m not able to do that right now.

-Tilapia- Frozen bag, great price and so easy to cook.

-Soy or almond milk- These are minimally processed as well. Most people are not doing soy these days. I’ll talk more about that another day. These milks have the calcium and vitamin D of cow’s milk. In all my studies, I have simply found that cows and their milk have been so messed with (hormones, stimulants to make them produce more milk, pasteurization process killing the natural enzymes) that I choose to steer clear.  HA, I just re-read that, no pun intended! Our family isn’t completely dairy free, we just do not consume major quantities of it. This has helped sinus and digestive problems.

-Brown rice

-Bag of dry pinto beans

-Frozen berries

 

SAM’s (but this is not cheap, I don’t think):

-Bags of raw nuts (almonds, pecans, walnuts) I think these are a perfect protein and I have at least one serving a day at one of my mini-meals. It’s a great protein/healthy fat combo which we need to stay full!

-If you’re going to have dairy, try Fage Greek Yogurt

-They have frozen berries also (I love eating a bowl of these actually still frozen, it’s like ice cream!)

 

KROGER:

-Hormel -lunchmeat that is nitrate free. This is definitely processed and you can decide for yourself if you want to eat it. It’s a compromise that is sometimes necessary for my family.

-Almond butter

-Coconut oil

-Rice pasta, corn pasta, or quinoa (or you can get these at Bulk Food stores at a much better price!)-These along with brown rice are the only grain carbohydrates we eat. Some people do not eat corn in any way, shape, or form, you can study that for yourself if you care that much! 🙂

-Laura’s Lean Beef- This is where I get my high quality beef. It is NOT cheap, but we don’t eat beef that often.

***Yes, I go to three grocery stores plus I get a few things at the D&D but I usually only go to Sams, Kroger, and D&D once a month, while I go to Aldi every week. Also, there are definitely a few other items I pick up, too, like spaghetti sauce, canned beans, sausage every now and then, etc. We are not 100% purists. Where we are on the ladder right now is finding a place of balance. We have to learn and balance hunger, health, special food needs, and fun. I remember about four years ago throwing away anything in our house that had high fructose corn syrup or partially hydrogenated soybean oil. A couple years ago, I looked for hidden sugars in everything and got rid of most of that, for example exchanging jam for fruit spread. Then one year ago, we threw away anything in our house that contained wheat (that’s another blog for another day). It’s going to keep progressing little by little.***

So…here are some meals with those foods!

Breakfast: Eggs or oatmeal

Lunch: Leftover meat or Hormel lunchmeat, fruit, raw veggies OR cheese, fruit, veggies  OR beans and rice in the crockpot and eat as leftovers with raw veggies

Snack: Peanut butter on an apple or banana OR a handful of nuts and carrots OR greek yogurt with frozen berries

Supper: A big salad; one carb besides the salad if you choose to, such as rice pasta, brown rice, sweet potato fries, white potato, quinoa; chicken, fish, or beef. You all can be a lot more creative than me, but we have a lot of taco salad, chicken in the crockpot, fish or beans with rice, hamburgers on lettuce leaves, soups and chilis, spaghetti, and a few casseroles.

Snack: frozen berries and nuts OR something small from the other meal ideas

There are certain dietary issues people have, and little picky eaters, but I think it’s just important to dig in and start doing what you CAN do. These are the foods available to my people, and they eat it! I realize it isn’t quite that simple for some, but the Lord will give you wisdom about your path for yourself and your family. I will say that if you can switch to 90% whole, real food you will see changes now and less disaster physically later…We have found that eating like this most of the time has taken care of our health issues and when we do have a splurge like birthday cake or pizza from a restaurant, we feel the difference. You don’t see what it’s doing until you get away from it. Then as you add it back in, you realize just how cruddy those foods made you feel.

Also, about the budget side of things–Having a large family (which we hope to have as time goes on) is a choice, and when we make that choice, the fact is the grocery bill is going to go up. It just is, no way around it! But I don’t think that means you can’t eat well. You may not get to eat out. You may not get to buy snack foods except for a movie night every now and then. But I really do believe that families can survive and thrive on whole, real foods. I think for an adult or older child (like 6+), each can eat on about $2-$3 a day. That is $60-$90 per older child/adult per month. I think that is a reasonable amount of money for our #1 physical need to be met!! Also, I promise that health problems, addiction to sugar, etc. are way more expensive in the long run. But again, change things at the pace you want to. Maybe get rid of cereal and do eggs or oatmeal. Maybe get rid of chips and cookies and offer fruit and nuts for snacks instead.

I have went ON AND ON AND ON but those of you who were asking for these details, I hope this blog post helped! Journey Well, Friends!

My Sweeties

It is so neat to think about what this new year holds! Here are some sweet pics of my family in 2013!

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This is us at The Louisville Science Center…

 

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Doing some Christmas shopping, sans Yemi!

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Sweet, silly, sticky Yemisrach.

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Lots of singing and playing this year from the newest musician in the house!

Better Late Than Never

Here are some pictures of our wonderful field trip to Frazier History Museum! They had exhibits teaching us all about how different countries and cultures celebrate the holidays.

 

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China! Selah’s Favorite! She says she wants to be a missionary there.

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Ghana! This was my favorite tree.

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It was hard to get Yemi to turn around and smile for me. She was really enamored with all the decorations!

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I can’t remember what country this one came from! I think Ecuador…

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Scotland! There were Scottie dogs, golf balls, and bag pipes on this tree.

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Mexico! We love Mexico and our dear Eloisa. Frazier also was exhibiting a beautiful dancing gown made by a woman in Mexico for her daughters. The husband was there showing it off and telling stories.

A New Year!

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I love the new year!! Even though winter isn’t my favorite time, I really love starting a new year of possibilities and ideas. My daughters will turn 9 and 6 this year; that I cannot believe!! My husband and I are going on an awesome trip, a gift from a loved one…a very loved one, haha! My best friend is having a baby. There are some other exciting things happening, too, that I’ll blog about in the months to come.

Along with the new year comes…drum roll…resolutions! I can’t say that I really have any resolutions this year, just some direction on what I want to make sure I focus on. And one of the things on my list of course is wellness. I lost 20 lbs in 2013 by going essentially wheat and sugar free, and I am so thankful! I want to keep that going, and possibly lose a few more.

I’ve been talking with people lately who would like to get started on a real-life plan such as what, by God’s grace, I did last year, and I have a few suggestions–nothing I haven’t blogged before, but here we go:

1-BASIC: Exercise 15 min a day. If I can’t get up and do it in the morning, I try to squeeze it in before dinner or even do yoga before bed. My favorite exercise is lifting weights, walking, and yoga. I think exercising almost every day is better than long hard workouts 3 x a week.

2-GETTING STARTED: Compile a list of why you’d want to go off of sugar and wheat. Do some research and see what it is doing to your body. Eventually, you’ll look at bread and think, “Hmm…white, puffy, I don’t want to look like that…or feel that heaviness in my tummy either.” There are dozens of reasons to go off this stuff but you have to find the ones that resonate with YOU. I don’t eat wheat because I know I can keep my weight steady by not eating, because when I got off of it I stopped having any acid reflux (within 6-8 weeks), and because my digestive system is so much happier, just believe me. I don’t eat sugar except on special preplanned occasions with friends and family because it steals my vitamins, overloads the work of my pancreas and adrenals, gives me infections, makes me want more and struggle with self control issues, makes me gain weight, puts a tire around my middle, and keeps me from living in the victory of health and clarity God has for me. Other people go off meat or dairy for these same reasons. How do these foods physically make you feel? You get to choose to stop eating them if you don’t like the way your body reacts! If you believe in your reasons, even if you mess up, you’ll keep going back to what is best for you. You have to take care of yourself!

3-HOW TO: Get an accountability partner or group, and tell them your intentions. Make a commitment to let them know when you went off track. Get junk out of your house. Have lots of good food you do like in the house, always have an alternative to fill the void of foods you are eliminating. Also, learn your triggers and try to work ways around them. Decide a date you can have what you want, for example a summer vacation. Chances are, after eating poorly for a day you will be craving how you were feeling before. One more thing, know those scripts you tell yourself, like, “Well, I may as well eat that, because I didn’t have time to exercise today anyway so it’s just a bad day overall” OR “I can have that because I worked out so hard” OR “I deserve this! I’m a free woman!” The fact is: Freedom is being in control of yourself and reaping the benefits.

 

Evergreen

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I am empty as a canyon deep, You’re a canyon full

I am waking from a winter sleep, You are evergreen

I am always seeking my way back, You are true north

Always begging for the things I lack, You are royalty

 

I am faltering, You are mountain mighty

I am lost and lame, You’re a roaring lion

I am questions, You are love songs

I am embers, You are a wildfire

 

There will never be another like You

There will never be another like You

There will never be another like You

 

In this song, “Never Be Another”, I am so encouraged to know that as I am clueless and continuously getting it wrong- or lacking vision or wisdom or fire- He is never lacking, He is never weak, He is never even tired.

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/lyndsaytaylorandjoannabl

Quitting & Learning

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I have been a nutcase lately. Seriously! I’ve been sick for a few days and in bed a lot and while having some alone time is fun, I’ve hardly been able to enjoy it because I’m such a nut.

Here’s what I mean.

Being sick, even though it is for such short periods of time these days, praise the Lord, brings to the surface all kinds of junk that I wasn’t thinking about before. I knew my schedule, or actually how I was feeling about and handling my roles, was about to be a train wreck. I knew something had to give. Staying in bed actually sounded wonderful by Thursday morning of last week. I was constantly wracking my brain trying to figure it out, figure it out, figure it out! It seemed all up to me, I had to fix things, I had to make a plan that could run smoothly and keep every facet of the lives of my people going nicely. Finances, food, wellness, devotions, homeschooling, sleep, friends, extended family events, paperwork, jobs, not to mention the items on a “yeah, right” mental to-do list that just made me feel guilty for never getting around to them. Are you exhausted just by reading that? I am, and I was!

Several of these days in bed I was stewing over things I couldn’t control, and God gave me lots of time to figure out that wasn’t productive. The discontent and anger floating to the surface had roots. I began to journal and pray and ask God for help! He is so good to meet us in our confusion and need. Once again, it was time to quit.

Quit trying to be known or acknowledged or amazing at something. 

Quit trying to get more than God wants to give me.

Quit thinking that my family’s life, success, and happiness all depends on me.

You see, it’s not that I needed to quit all, or even some necessarily, of that list above. That would have been the easy answer it seemed. But instead God wanted me to acknowledge and let go of what was making those callings, those gifts and opportunities to serve, a burden. It wasn’t the daily life that was wearing me out. It was the way I was living, feeling that everything had to reach a stellar standard, something others would want to emulate, something I could find accomplishment in. Ugh! Such pride! Oh good grief, I just want to remember the peaceful, joyful way of life in the Spirit. A focus on these things:

Learning to live in the Sabbath rest and my identity as the Beloved; my life is a success because I have an under-the-blood-of-Jesus personal and living relationship with God! The desire for being special, being great, needs to be satisfied first in the adoration of the Father…then we can go on with our lives, letting the chips fall where they may, it won’t matter much anymore. I think people who have become well known authors or speakers or whatever it is we look up to are either in turmoil for more OR they barely notice their status because they are fully satisfied in what HE says about them. I don’t think you can have it both ways.

Learn to dwell in gratefulness for what is; God gave me what He wants me to have, whether that is a lot or a little, whether it is an easy thing or a challenging thing. He gave it. It passed through His hand to me for a reason. He’ll change it when He chooses. He really does care about the details and He really hasn’t overlooked a thing. Worry should have no place in my life as a child of God, overcomer, and co-heir with Jesus!

Learn to make LOVE my number one priority. Receiving His love–truly making time to embrace it–and slowing down and loving every person God sends my way is such a beautiful thing when I don’t let my ideas of success get in the way. Praying for people that God puts on my mind, listening to whoever needs to talk, making time for relationship repair. This rings in my ears: “Did you learn to love?” from the Misty Edwards song, “The Measure of a Man”. Oh my goodness,  those three things I am “quitting” have so very little to do with love, at least not love for God and others.

Jesus, Thank You for showing us the way to live life. No, Your story doesn’t say a lot about houses and jobs and money and kids, and the right way to prioritize or go about all of those things. But Your story tells us all those things will fall into a beautiful order as we let go of demands and live to know You. You deposit in us all we need for life, abundant life, a life that would actually draw others to You.  Amen.