Find Us Burning (Blogs 2009-2016) – Page 15

April 30, 2012August 13, 2013

His fiery love for me

Today I just have a moment, but wanted to write a quick word. I have found myself thinking so many times about our Song of Solomon Bible Study that has been over for a month, and one of the things that has stood out to me is finally understanding just a smidge of SOS 8:6–

“Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.”

Here’s the smidge that is echoing in my mind, and giving such focus and peace every time I lack it (which is often!…

In the first line, our heart represents our affections, both affections we are craving and affections we are offering. Our heart represents what matters to us deep down, who we are in the secret. Everything in our life overflows out of this heart, and this is the heart God is speaking of when He says, “Love the Lord your God with all of your heart…” But I veer off. I forget. I don’t choose to get filled by Him sometimes, and my life begins to wither, like a branch severed from the vine. It shows up in my energy, my attitude, everything, because it is a literal connection–my Life is in Christ, and while He is always here with me, I can easily ignore that and therefore not receive those sweet benefits of connection with Him daily.

Also, in that first line, there’s this: “Place me like a seal over your heart.” A seal means the authority, the ownership, the protection. He is a seal, a piece of armor and hope, set upon my heart! He wants to protect my heart, keeping it from giving its focus and affections and desires to things other than Himself (like concerns about what I can or can’t do, or just busyness!) This is my prayer: “Lord, place Yourself today as a seal over my heart! Keep my heart beating, fully ALIVE because of my connection with You.”

So then in the second line, our arm represents our work, our strength, how we use our times, talents, resources, and energy. Our arm is perhaps what others see us do, our work among men. The heart and then the arm is like the first commandment, with the second coming after yet being equal! We love Him…and therefore we also love our neighbor. So our arm is important, too, and just as we need “His seal” upon our heart, oh how we need His seal upon our arm!!!

His love and jealousy for us is so strong that it can be compared to death. What this says to me is that it’s pretty strong, pretty final; it’s something none of us can change or do anything about when it happens…It’s out of our hands. He wants us that much, and like any jealous lover, He’s happy to put His seal on us if we’ll let Him! His love burns like a mighty flame that never goes out.

It is easy to find myself being a flickering flame for Him, just from being tired or busy or whatever…but when I remember that I don’t have to do anything but come warm myself by that fire, and just be loved, WOW! That stirs something in me. If I am “found burning”, it will be because He was relentless in His fiery love for me first.

April 14, 2012

Cinderella

I am much too practical to be a fairy tale (not to mention Disney princess) kinda girl…but oh my goodness…I was swept away last night. Let me tell you about it.

First of all, on Tuesday I got an email from Show Hope saying that grant recipients (which is us, because 3 years ago we received a grant for our adoption) were welcome to come (for free) to Steven Curtis Chapman’s Spring Celebration, which was a production of Cinderella with the Nashville Symphony. It was actually odd that we could go at all because Jack has worked nights now for a year, BUT Wednesday was to be his last 2nd shift day and the concert was on Thursday! Hallelujah! So we reserved the tickets, bought tiaras for my princesses’ little heads, and arrived at the Symphony in downtown Nashville last night at 6.

After the concert, all the grant recipients that were present went up on stage with SCC. It was so moving to see these families and know that each one of them could tell incredible stories of long and tedious journeys…journeys that proved in their hearts the faithfulness and love of God. A little boy named Yo Yo from China sang a beautiful and clear as a bell duet with SCC, and much to my surprise, I know his mother, Anna, and got to meet up with her for the first time in forever! I had met her several summers when I did mission work with my youth group and we had stayed in touch for a little while…but that was a long, long time ago!

So, some of the things I have to write about…my cup is overflowing…

1-The story of Cinderella itself is just about the only “princess” story I like, because it has always had a good message, but some of the dialogue from the play last night really stood out to me. It is actually a very prophetic allegory to Jesus and His Bride! We don’t really belong here, we were created for more and better than this world, things are not fair–just like in Cinderella’s house–and our Prince is looking for us. He actually says to Cinderella at the Ball, “I have all the servants I need, I really just want someone to talk to.” That is Jesus speaking to His Bride! He wants someone to confide in, someone to listen to His heart and share in all that is in it. I felt last night that God was speaking directly to me. He’s sweeping us away from all this mess, in the spiritual realm right now, if we’ll turn our hearts to Him, and when the time comes, on the Wedding Day, YES! The unseen will become seen and we will be literally swept off our feet. I’m living for that. That is where my hope lies.

2-Cinderella represents the oppressed and forgotten and abused all over the world. As the Prince and Jesus say, “Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect.” I *have* always been treated with kindness and respect, and I am indignant when someone is not, but still it was a good reminder to me. Also, it gave me even more desire to advocate for children, adopt, sponsor, and share what ministries like Show Hope, IJM, World Vision, and Compassion are doing for children worldwide. We’re gonna hope to the very end.

3-Last night, I was struggling a little bit in my heart. Ever since I saw Steven Curtis Chapman’s concert about 10 years ago, when he told the story of Jim Elliot/Nate Saint/Mincaye, I have had this silly little dream. And even more so now that they started Show Hope and we have that passion in common, I have wanted to tour with him or have him hear a few of my songs and maybe use them. How embarrassing to even say it out loud, as if I’m even in that league of musician. I know that I am not, obviously! I don’t want to be a famous musician, I don’t want to have a tour or travel with anyone else; what I dream of is to be able to have a platform to share my songs about social justice, hope, and adoption with people. SO…going last night to this big thing was sort of a reminder of what I’m not. Jack reminded me that it isn’t that I want to be “big time”, it’s just that God has given me a message and like anyone with a prophet’s heart I’m jealous for a place to share it. Either way though, I really had to dig my way back to the shining truth: I live to gaze upon the face of Jesus. I do not live to have people listen to me or like my music. I turn my focus to the Lord, and while I am doing that I become complete and filled up with Him and don’t have room for caring about my influence or accolades. Pride doesn’t necessarily mean you think you’re something. It may mean you wish you were something. The sentence that brings me back, that digs my way back to truth is Heidi Baker’s quote: “I’m just a little laid down lover in the dirt.” That brings it home for me. That’s all I *want to* want to be.

4- And speaking of pride and humility, I was so touched by these beautiful families, several who had brought home special needs children. I thought, “These are the true heroes.” Priorities and values and what’s important in my mind must shift. It has, but it needs to even more. God sets the stars in the sky to shine…and He sets us exactly where we are to do the same. Steven and Mary Beth Chapman are making a huge difference in the world. I don’t even know how they handle being such world changers, knowing their wise decisions, faithful life, and stewarding everything from talent to grief so well, has been such a blessing to the Kingdom. They are shining like stars in the exact location God set them. Other heroes of the faith are unknown moms and dads who take in foster kids or adopt from orphanages, who really don’t have an easy life at all because of the decisions they have made for the Kingdom. People don’t understand why they do it, why they choose the hard way. No glamour, no acknowledgement. They really are the feet of the Body–on the ground, doing the hard work, unnoticed, because who notices feet and yet feet keep us standing. They are shining like stars in the exact location God set them.

It’s a lot for me to chew on. I want to adopt again, I want to do a lot of things, but I need to understand my place in the Body and my location to shine. And I know that knowing Him will be the key…We seek Him first and all things fall in place.

March 29, 2012August 13, 2013

Lyrics and Chords

Hey Friends!

Just in case someone comes to this site looking for lyrics/chords to my new CD, here’s the 411. First of all, I haven’t had time yet to type them up and post them. I’m sorry! But when I do have time to type and post them, they will be at www.lyricsandchordsbylyndsay.blogspot.com

Currently, there are lyrics and chords on that site, but none from the new CD. Feel free to ask for specific songs to be put up first by going to my Facebook music page and requesting. Thanks!

Lyndsay

Update: Also check out her Lyrics page.

March 15, 2012

A Little Fenelon

I have been meaning to share some quotes from books I’ve been reading lately. It’s a shame for me to not blog simply because I have nothing original to say. When have I ever had anything original to say anyway? This book, 100 Days in the Secret Place, has been by my side along with my Bible and a couple other books for about five years now. It is incredible. It keeps speaking to me of a deeper walk with the Lord, a stiller mind, and a more crucified self-love. This is so good!

This is from Fenelon, who was a French Archbishop in the Catholic Church and writer in 1715, which doesn’t mean anything in particular to me except that his faith was very real and Biblical, and it’s exciting to see how centuries don’t change a single thing about faith and relationship with God…

“Make a habit of bringing your attention back to God on a regular basis. You will then be able to quiet all your inner commotion as soon as it starts to be churned up. Cut yourself off from every pleasure that does not come from God. Seek God within, and you will undoubtedly find Him with peace and joy. Be more occupied with God than anything else. Do everything with the awareness that you are acting before God and for His sake. At the sight of God’s majesty, calmness and well-being should fill your spirit. A word from the Lord stilled the raging sea and a glance from Him to you, and from you to Him, will do the same for you.”

Each sentence of this paragraph stabs me, in a good way. Today especially I am thinking of “Do everything with the awareness that you are acting before God and for His sake.” Disciplining the kids, disciplining myself, my thoughts, words, actions, reactions…He is my audience, He is the recipient, am I doing these things unto Him and in a way that would glorify Him? Baby steps. No condemnation. But I see what a powerful and good question that is. It is a focus and direction I have asked for. I’m so indebted to Grace in this journey to know Him and align my life with His way!

March 14, 2012

Seasons…

So, what a crazy crazy winter we have had, and I’m thrilled that spring is coming early! Seasons are changing in more ways than one. We’ve worked a lot on our house, and when spring comes, there are more projects to do outside. Pictures to come! Also, over the winter the CD was finished, and if you haven’t seen the Facebook invite, please consider this your personal invitation to come to the CD Release Party on March 25th. It’s at the Nexus Building (where the Bridge Community meets) on 6746 S. Wilson Rd., Etown, from 2-4 p.m. I will be doing some songs from the CD and sharing some history behind them…plus we’ll just be eating and having fun. I’m planning to have some coloring tables and stuff for the kids, so everyone is very welcome. The songs should be available online in various places like iTunes in the next month as well, or you could order a “real” copy from www.cdbaby.com.

So I’m the worst blogger ever because it has been a long time since I’ve really written. My journal feels neglected, too. I think I’m coming into a new season of my life, and I’m coming into it excited but also…I’m not nervous, not tentative, and not skeptical…I’m just coming into it cautiously. In the past I have been a “doer”. A runner, a worker, a crazy goal oriented girl for Jesus. I was missing His sweet face while I tried to get stuff done for Him, not realizing that “serving” Him and others was not equivalent to knowing Him, really. He rescued me from that misunderstanding that was sucking the life out of me, but that rescue took a long transformation period. The main factor in this period of time–that was really wonderful once I surrendered–was that I wasn’t allowed to “do” anything that I thought of as being something purposeful or noble for God, especially anything that someone else would give me recognition for. How awesome! I got to shake all kinds of junk off of me through this period–the fear of man, the praise of man, worrying about being judged, judging others, activities and “good” things that God never specifically told me to involve myself in–gone.

So, that long period of fasting, you could say, from these things made some stuff in me suffer a nice long slow death. Those things that used to make up who I thought I was were starved to death! My surrender sounded like this: “God, it’s your life anyway. It’s not mine. I was just trying to live it for you, but if you’d rather me just stay home or just be in my bed sick, or just raise these kids and not do anything else, that’s YOUR BUSINESS! I will do that! Cool! I’m off the hook for all that other stuff because You aren’t providing the strength, resources, ability, time, etc, to do any of it, plus You’re forbidding me to do it anyway!”

Okay, why am I going into all this detail?

Because NOW, and only now, after going through this period of God killing me and then raising me back up a new creature, I have a good story to tell. Now I have a bolder voice and something to say about knowing Him and making knowing Him our everything…no exceptions, nothing tying for first place. I have learned this because I have now lived this: When we make knowing Him our only goal and priority, in our heart of hearts forsaking all other reasons to live, an internal miracle happens. The only things that can hurt in us are the things that are still alive! If they are crucified–all we wanted out of life, even all we hoped to do for His glory–then when things don’t go “well”, we don’t suffer. Our only suffering is when we are losing sight of His face. Priorities get in order, confusion and what others think disappears, and we begin to really embrace this Colossians 3 “life hidden in Christ.” Intimacy with Him happens and puts every worldly thing in its proper place. I want to live this and I want to share it! It’s fine with me if I do not have opportunities but I sense them coming. And I can get freaked out about it, or I can just relax and know that God has prepared me, that the very point of my testimony is what I have to rely on RIGHT NOW as He gives opportunities to share!

Also, and this is the part I’m cautious about, just as God clearly and tenderly led me AWAY from church services (never the Body, just the building) now He is clearly and tenderly leading me back. It took so long to unwind myself from the old thoughts and feelings I had wrapped around my position/standing/reputation/talents/gifts/service in the church. I never want to go back to that kind of stuff even being on my radar! Martha Kilpatrick says she wants to be unaware and uninterested in regard to God using her or not. Exactly. Because I don’t have TIME and ATTENTION to put on myself and what difference I may or may not be making. I only have time and attention and eyes for Jesus! And that’s what I know He has raised me up for, to live to know Him: in my home and out of my home, on a stage or sitting in the nursery with other moms, cleaning the toilet or speaking at a conference. It’s all the same. It’s all the same! And I’m terrified that I will forget that. I know I am a nobody. I know that I have no reason to be afraid that some kind of public attention will go to my head. It’s embarrassing to even share that I have this fear, but that is a practice God told me to put into place–look for opportunities to share something truthful about myself with others that is embarrassing. That’s an opportunity to go low, and I need those! Pride has to be dismantled even in people who don’t think they’re all that great…because there’s that secret place in most of us that would like to be great. And there is only One who is Great.

Whew. So I go forever without a blog, then I come back with that. But this is the season I’m walking into it, and I guess that’s what a blog is for! Thanks for reading, and I would appreciate your prayers!

February 24, 2012

Been A While

Wonder how many blogs I have titled that…

So, wow. I have had a crazy month, and I don’t do crazy. It just doesn’t work for me. But I have to say the Lord has held me up! In the past, crazy months leave me really messed up physically, spiritually, emotionally. It definitely was different this time, praise the Lord! I feel great and the things I was supposed to focus on even during the craziness remained in view. That feels good. Miraculous…a product of the Living Word…evidence of the Holy Spirit…good.

It was crazy because for two weeks we worked on finishing up the recording. FUN! But early in the morning (for me)…running kids to sitters…trying to come home and homeschool…Jack was starting a new job and a new schedule…Then after those two weeks, our “handyman” was ready to do the list of jobs at our house (basically a complete remodel of the basement) and we had workmen arriving at 8:30 every morning for a good week or so. I had deadlines for my part in the work, like “paint this before we can do this” type stuff. So I painted 5 days straight in my “free time.” Free time. HA!

But when I came downstairs today, which is still chaos and there’s a good week of work still to be done, I remembered what songs I was worshipping and communing with the Lord with in each corner and wall I painted. One day in particular that I painted a full eight hours (I guess I am slow because my house is not that big!), the Lord said, “Since you’re here to worship Me, it doesn’t really matter what your hands are doing…you’re where you’re supposed to be.” That helped me to stop the rush and just be where I was. That little lesson will be useful on other discontent days for sure.

It’s laughable that I can sum this month up into such a small post. There are some really neat things I want to blog about later, but this is the gist. Ultimately, I’m thrilled that these tasks are coming to an end (basement…there’s light at the end…) or have come to an end (the CD is in production and whoever wants one will get to purchase on March 25th)! But it is in those crazy times that (well, perhaps directly afterwards) I re-evaluate priorities, schedules, relationships, etc. and make sure that learning to love, being still and not missing chunks of people’s lives, caring about others needs, being a forerunner and prayer warrior and worshipper, knowing and adoring the Love of my Life, are the bulk of my existence!

I am an overachiever. There are days that cartoons, balancing the checkbook, and eating pizza are the bulk of my existence! But I want a life that is thrown away on the things that matter to God no matter how wasteful it may seem to the world. When things are crazy, yes, things get done. That’s good… when the Lord says “Do.” While I was “doing”, I was getting a chance to practice His presence and we were running together not separately, but it still felt like it was on a bit of a surface level and I can’t take that for too long personally. This girl needs some serious quiet space to process and abide and remember and get my little head straight. 🙂

January 21, 2012

What I Learned From Movies Growing Up

So, let’s process this together, shall we?

I have felt in my spirit this desire to REVOLT against the system of this world, and obviously there are people like me in every generation…many of you reading this are those very people. We want to raise our children differently, we want to stop the “slow fade” that happens when we let sin creep in little by little so slowly that it goes undetected, we want to hold our decisions up to the standard of the Word at the risk of looking old fashioned and “under the law”…right?

Well, I brought up a lot of different ideas and issues there, but I want to talk about what we teach our kids and invite into their (and our) minds with the stuff placed in front of their eyes and ears, both good and bad and in-between. What goes in our eyes and ears makes it into our thought life. What makes it into our thought life is often repeated, making certain thoughts habitual, and those thoughts of course affect how we feel and what we even believe about life, ourselves, others, God, what we deserve and expect, everything. We don’t even realize it usually, but we were forced to realize it when our daughter Selah was just about 2 years old.

We had all the Disney princess movies and watched all kinds of movies as long as they didn’t have cussing, violence, or blatant sensuality, I thought they were no big deal. I watched them growing up, and I was fine, right? Not really. Let me tell you what most of the movies and after-school-teenager- type TV shows did for me… and what they started to do for my daughter who as luck would have it is twice as sensitive as even I am. (And I am super sensitive.)

I learned from these shows and movies which were totally G rated that it was okay to disobey my father because he was just being overprotective. I learned it was okay to go behind his back and date guys he was wise enough to say no to for me when I didn’t have the maturity to say no to them for myself. It won’t take you long to think about which Disney movies in particular promote this!! And of course those movies, in the end, confirm that the daughter was right to rebel and run off to chase the man of her dreams instead of living under the protection and authority of her dad.

I learned that I needed to be uber-beautiful and desirable with tiny feet, fabulous hair, and a 24 inch waist. I learned that this was very important…to be prettier than average, and if you weren’t, you weren’t special. People would still love you and find good things to praise you for, but there was something extra special about being extra beautiful. There were just a few who got this honor.

I learned that it was okay to watch scary things, even watching people or characters die. I learned it was okay to feel scared and go to bed thinking about it, giving a foothold, almost literally, for the enemy to climb in and do what he does to so many kids through nightmares…mainly because even though the images aren’t as violent as we adults know violence can be, it is stuff little minds just cannot process and so their brain will process all night long if need be.

I want to be honest in saying that the most damage that was done were these two things: One, I learned that the most valuable relationship for a girl to have would be with the boy who chose and loved her. How many of these princesses even have friends who are girls??? There is no focus on the development of any other relationships really. How warped is that–its like we are telling our daughters through habitually watching movies with romantic themes that they have one goal in life and that is to get a man to choose her and love her. (And once he does, even though they hardly know each other, all her problems are resolved because they live happily ever after.) This is dangerous for SO many reasons! First of all, that’s not why we were created! Second, what if it’s not even God’s plan for that daughter to have a husband? She has been set up for misery from day one. Third…that’s coming up next.

The second damaging thing was: I learned from watching these movies and shows how to be utterly incapable of just being simply buddies with a male. How many of these princesses have a boy character in the movie who is truly just a friend with no innuendos and no foreshadowing to what they may be??? Other than Tinkerbell, I honestly cannot think of one. Every guy from 12 years old up was a potential something to me. That’s a hard habit to break when that’s how you’ve viewed guys up until marriage…And of course we can’t leave our young men out here. I can’t even begin to imagine what we’re teaching our sons about how to view and choose a woman of true beauty, and how to view every female they meet up until marriage. Whew.

So…it feels good to process all of that, because I want to be mindful and aware of how the enemy sneaks in and steals purity. He knows we hate blatant sexual stuff, violence, nasty language–he knows we have the sense to not let our kids watch that. But what about the message that is coming from our and their “favorites”?

I have a couple of suggestions…One, we don’t just cut off internet and netflix from our houses necessarily (unless God is telling you to!) We sit down as a family and set our standards. Two, we make checks and balances to make sure everyone is kept accountable and we stick to our standards. I know on netflix there’s no way to erase the “Recently Watched” so there is accountability there. We can have passwords on our computers or keep the computer in the living room where there are more people. Three, we definitely do not let the kids watch TV or even a video completely alone (unless it’s a tried and true favorite that we have screened for all these issues). Maybe as adults we should also be careful about what we watch alone!! I think I have gotten sloppy in what I allow into my mind. I have my standards I won’t cross but there’s a very good chance they are not strict enough. With the kids for sure we need to be there with at least one ear and one eye on the media so we can pause it and talk about stuff to needs to be discussed (or fast forward or turn it off completely!) Maybe they will surprise us and say, “Mom or Dad, I actually don’t think I should be watching this based on those standards we set the other day!” I think this is where we go past the old thing of sheltering them but never explaining the protection and the reason behind it. We want to save them from images, thoughts, habits, fear, sin, wrong expectations of relationships and life and themselves because everything they take in is making our/their worldview and let’s face it, for many of us either now or in the past, haven’t seen how seriously invaded our/their minds are. Four, I really think that watching a show or movie once isn’t the end of the world (unless its just terrible). Its more of the “my kids watch this on repeat” or “this is her favorite movie, I let her watch it every day”…oh my gosh. I’m not sure there is a single movie on the planet, except for maybe Veggie Tales, that I would let my kids watch that often now that I know what I now and am clued in to how we “become what we consume”. And if we don’t become it, we wish we could.

So, maybe I’ll sleep better tonight having processed through this. I have so much to learn but I am so glad God is making me more aware. Good night!

December 31, 2011

Wrapping Up 2011

I’m a wrapper-upper kinda girl.

2011 is going to get a nice moment on my blog and then it’s history. Not that it was bad, it’s just…history.

In my little world, here’s what 2011 was like, just to catch some of you up: Jack changed jobs mid-Spring, and it was not at all a step up. But sometimes God uses real life to show us what it means to go low, to show us what really matters, to find our sufficiency and worth in HIM ALONE! I began 2011 feeling awful, even after almost a year of therapy for adrenal fatigue/sleep disorder stuff, but in May, God began to raise me up! In June, I started running every morning. In July, I was able to run 3 miles at a time! I started sleeping 10 to 11 hours a night instead of 12-13. (That was a nice difference to me and my life!) I felt like myself again, and that self had been so far removed for so long, that “grateful” just isn’t a big enough word to describe how I feel. With summer going away, I haven’t felt awesome, but I have been, still, much much better than years before. I have a list of things I do to feel well. Would love to share with anyone in the same boat!! Also, God has put several relationships in my life that I get to invest in and be blessed by! I love you, Wednesday night college age girls!! We are also a part of Open House, a church plant in E-town, and we love our small family there.

Selah Jordan finished K in May and started homeschool 1st grade in June, and we have absolutely loved the freedom and meaningful time together that the homeschool life brings. There is a constant rearranging of schedules and routines, due to all kinds of things, but we do pray and try to keep first things first. Selah, as well as our whole family, has really grown in the Lord this year! She prayed to receive Christ as her personal Lord and Savior and was baptized Nov. 6th. She is investing her time in a quiet time every day and I have seen her minister this year in special ways to many people. We are all involved in FAITH homeschool co-op and we LOVE it. She’s actually moving on to 2nd grade now, and some of her curriculum is 3rd grade, which is one of the great things about homeschool (she can work on her level) but for all purposes outside of school work she will still be a 1st grader!! No skipping grades. She especially loves Science and Bible. She likes art but tends to rush through; and she likes piano, but getting her to remember to practice on her own is more work for me than her, so we have to figure out a system there. (Now I know how parents of my students feel!) Selah is a total and absolute joy, friend, and jewel.

Yemi Abigail has changed and grown and come alive this year!! She is so funny, smart, sweet, and beautiful. She is also mischievous and sneaky and goofy. She loves to make people laugh and lately the answer to any question posed to her is: “Cuckoo head.” She loves to play with her toys, especially puzzles, and even though she gets in trouble for it almost every day, she cannot resist sneaking into Selah’s room and ever so quietly playing with her barbies. She is addicted to movies, especially CareBears, Dora, and Elmo, even though she only gets to watch about an hour a day if that. She just now started caring about school type stuff (she’s 3) and is learning to write her name and asking to do homeschool. What amazes me about Yemi is that she is fully a child and enjoys it! Selah wanted to grow up, didn’t appreciate the simplicity of those years…Yemi is the opposite. She is in no hurry, and it’s wonderful! Because she’s not aiming to get approval through knowing things or being smart or whatever, you don’t realize what she knows until it just comes out one day…like when she counts something in Spanish or looks over in a field and says, “There is one white horse, 2 brown ones, and 1 black.” The “cuckoo head” thing really disguises a great mind in there!! But I say let her hide it and have fun as long as she can!

And in less serious and frivolous issues…in 2011…my Top Ten:

1)Favorite New (to me) Artists: Matt Maher, Phil Wickham, Addison Road

2)Favorite Purchases (I know this is corny but I love these things!): World Map shower curtain and a perfectly sized zipper cooler that holds our water bottles and snacks so we don’t have to eat out

3)Favorite Movie: Limitless and The Muppets (-awesome comeback, muppets!)

4)Favorite Online Find: Pandora, what an awesome concept! I enjoy it but also it has helped spread my songs, and I am really humbled and thankful for that. Honestly my music was just sitting there for a couple of years while I was ill and taking care of my family, etc. Now, people are hearing some songs and I am constantly shocked by the response. (It’s small, but it’s certainly more than the nothing going on before. I want to clarify that I don’t feel like I deserve for people to find and like my music, I am simply surprised and grateful that it is happening!!!!)

5) Favorite God Thing: Sister Bridge. Getting to partner with 3 ministries, share them (and their handmade, beautiful items) with my friends and family, and send gobs of money back to women in need…yeah, that was my favorite God Thing!!!!! Looking forward to Lord willing doing it again next fall. I can’t thank the women in my life enough for their care and investment in the women God loves around the world!!!

6) Favorite Books: Abba’s Child by Brennan Manning; Brokenness by Lon Solomon; Choosing to SEE by Mary Beth Chapman; and then there are the books I constantly read year to year–Adoration by Martha Kilpatrick, 100 Days in the Secret Place compiled by Gene Edwards, and some other works by Fenelon and Guyon. These books I have mentioned have shaped my theology, and I cannot describe the peace and purpose I feel in my life and walk with God because of the questions answered and principles learned in these pages. Obviously, I highly recommend!

7) Favorite Exercise and Health Stuff: I’m always talking about Tired of Being Tired by Jesse Lynn Hanley; it’s phenomenal and was a huge part of God healing me. Also, I love Jackie Warner’s Power Circuit Training workout video; it easily was my top pick of the year because it has 15 minute weight lifting sessions that make a difference!

8) Favorite Netflix Find: Drop Dead Diva and Samantha Who? Very fun shows!! Watched them all at least twice.

9) Favorite New Song I’ve Written: I sang this at Behold the Lamb this year so a few of you have heard it, but it’s called This Year. It’s about God’s faithfulness and that whatever comes in 2012, I want to go there with Him. I want Him to do whatever He has to do to make me ready for His return.

10) Favorite Simple New Concept about God: He wants us to fully receive and revel in His Love. When we become Christians, we are saying, “Lord, nothing matters more to me than receiving this love that I don’t deserve.” But then maybe we forget and think we’re supposed to move past it, putting the focus on ourselves and what we can churn out for Him?? Nothing matters until we receive and revel in His Love, not ministry, not even obedience. We have to love HIS LOVE more than we love or want anything else (from Him, from life in general), and when we do that, life is a win-win situation. When His Love is all we want, everything else becomes even less than secondary…and since you cannot lose His Love, you always have your primary need met! Win-win!!! The loss we feel is when we love our lives and our opinions about what our lives should look like MORE THAN we love Him and His Love. We idolize our own lives and we say it’s because we want to live for Him and we say, “how can I live my life for Him with this problem in it?”…at least I say that. When this is happening, we simply have not tasted the goodness, the richness, the completeness, of His Love. We see trials as a hinderance instead of an opportunity to come to Him and prize His Love above all answers and help and solutions.

In 2012, let us drink deeply of His Love!

December 31, 2011

My Christmas…

It has been a great Christmas “break”. I basically took a deep breath on Nov. 30th and am now exhaling… No, honestly, I did my best to keep things as calm as possible, but even with saying no to many things, this is . The first two weeks of December were pretty wild with field trips, parties, concerts, etc…and then about five family get togethers…and then a beautiful Christmas Day at home.

December 6, 2011