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Sister Bridge

There are several things that I really love and it is super fun and exciting when those things collide. Sister Bridge is a collision of many favorites: I love the nations and missions, I love beautiful material, purses, natural looking jewelry, and quilts, and I love sisters in Christ standing together and helping one another out!

There are such amazing ministries and devoted missionaries out there who are living among the poor, the least of these, widows, and orphans. I love sponsorship, adoption, and mission trips…but there’s always need, therefore there’s always more room for great ideas! And I’ve had the desire for a long time to be a representative or “middle-woman” you could say between these ministries/missionaries with good ideas and the people they are helping and everyone here in my small circle of friends and family. I’ve always wanted to be a voice, and I just had to “die” to it. All the talking, blogging, song-writing, singing, wanting to do something…God definitely wanted me to lay it down and stop worshipping the desire to be useful. And laid down it was.
When all of a sudden this summer I had the opportunities fall in my lap to start connecting with these ministries that gave a skill and an income to at-risk women in three countries, I was surprised! But the timing was right. It is such a joy to just enjoy this, and let God build the house. I want to be really clear that Sister Bridge is nothing more than an idea and I needed a quick noun to say “the people that get the inventory and organize selling it to people in the U.S., connecting women to women all around the world!” You can simply go through Sister Bridge to help these women in Cambodia, Indonesia, and Swaziland…OR you can go online yourself and purchase things! (The Cambodia one, not yet, but hopefully soon we can help them make a website/shipping availability).
As I said, all we are doing is getting the inventory here and keeping track of the money getting back to the ministries. NO ONE profits from this except for the women themselves, and these organizations reaching out to them are fantastic. If you are interested in the 3 ministries and want links to their websites, just check out Facebook.com/SisterBridge. We have items to sell especially in this time of year when people are shopping for Christmas gifts; not sure what inventory we will keep after that. We can give you everything you need to have a party or just bring to your small group, bunco, girls night out, whatever. The items are gorgeous, incredibly reasonable in price (most things are under $20), and original…not to mention the point here: partnership with women who are so much like us who simply do not have the same opportunity for their needs to be met.
I pray Sister Bridge can truly be a bridge between “us” and “them”, connecting us until we really do live with equality on our minds and compassion in our hearts. This desire to make a difference, or “do something”, is a journey of our own hearts and minds changing. There is no quick leap. And living how we live, surrounded by this constant slurring of our needs and wants, sometimes it feels impossible to ever cross that bridge! I don’t believe in just “doing something”; His sheep must know His voice. If helping women in this tangible way is something you’d like to do this season, just contact me and we can help make it happen.
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Health Stuff

It is about time to change my blog picture! No more running through the slip and slide…however, I think yesterday it would have been okay, since it was at least 80 degrees! You won’t find me complaining…til January! No, I have every intention to enjoy all the seasons, even if I have the personal opinion that winter takes over too much of the year!

Anyway, just wanted to write about my pursuit of healthiness today. A long time ago, I wanted to do some nutrition info groups at my house and blog more often about the things I had learned, things that got me back into the land of the living! But honestly, January through May 2011, I felt like crud again and didn’t have much passion to share anything with anybody! Then in June, I started feeling so much better, started waking up early and going running 5 mornings a week, and just all kinds of amazing differences. So, I just wanted to briefly share encouragement of how that came to be in case anyone else needs a little hope…
First of all, Jesus. Always it’s going to be: First of all, Jesus. Surrendering my health and future to Him, going through the process of accepting whatever He chose for “my” life which is really His, was a huge part of my journey. Before I got better, I truly had peace that my life was just as valuable and full in bed as it is up and doing all these things, because my LIFE is hidden in Christ and cannot be touched by the things of the physical realm. Amen! Coming to this truth is a long journey that I am still on.
Secondly, I read a book “Tired of Being Tired” by Jesse Lynn Hanley and saw Shelly Roby at Nova Medicine in E-town. I began to live by the knowledge (not perfectly at all, but applying what I could) and taking special pharmaceutical grade supplements that Shelly saw through my blood work that I was depleted of. I did this for a year before I saw improvement, but now I am so glad I persevered! I know now that our food just does not have the nutrients in it that we need, so I eat incredibly well plus take these things. The cost is so much lower than meds I was taking…and I am on NO prescriptions now.
Third, I read (so randomly it seems but it was the hand of God) this tiny paragraph that said, “Sometimes patients who have underwent gall bladder surgery need to be cleansed of the toxins introduced to their bodies under anesthesia. They simply need to do a liver cleanse and take Kyolic garlic supplements in large quantities.” OH MY GOSH. I thought, “How amazing would that be if it worked?” I had that surgery in Africa in 2000. I did what the book said, and that is really when I started to see improvement, in about 4 weeks. I felt so well I literally began running 5k’s. I definitely still need 11 hours of sleep a night or I crash back into all the old symptoms, and I must continue in all the other therapy included in the book “Tired of Being Tired”, but everything is manageable usually if I do what I know.
For anyone tired, not sleeping well, overweight, sick often…read that book! It’s like $4 on Amazon! I have definitely learned how important it is to invest in my health, because I’m not sure how other people are, but I struggle emotionally, socially, spiritually, and mentally if my physical stuff is a wreck. If I haven’t gotten enough sleep, I make poor food choices, I’m more likely to feel depressed, I do not have perspective with my husband and kids, and then I’m an emotional mess. It’s like I can choose to live in a pit and live my life always climbing out of it…OR I can avoid the pit altogether as often as possible. Disciplines like time with God, exercise, and eating healthy don’t always feel like they fit in my “I just wanna be carefree” mood…however, by doing these things, I am much more carefree!
It’s definitely a passion of mine to share these tiny tidbits I have learned with women who are not getting to live up to their potential, so if you are reading this and want to talk about any part of it, I am available!! Just let me know, and we’ll do this together. 🙂
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Creative Counterpart by Linda Dillow

I have had this book Creative Counterpart by Linda Dillow on my shelf for many years, and have read it many times. If nothing comes of all of this moving stuff around, and we stay here in this house another decade, finding this book will have been worth the mess! I was -okay, am- finding myself in a difficult season of marriage. We are going on 11 years! Yay Us! But certain things in our relationship that are steady and constant are not very good things, and certain things that are good are not steady and constant. I bet you know what I mean.

So I needed a good dose of truth. A talk with a friend really helped me realize some things about myself and brought some perspective. It was hard to talk about it, because I know I am blessed and don’t like to be negative and complaining. But sometimes it is just good to hear myself say certain things out loud and look at them out there in the air…I needed to remember I am responsible for myself, my reactions, my heart attitude, and that I must stay in total humility and desperation before Jesus because I do not love my husband like I should, but HE DOES! Hallelujah! And when I don’t love my husband like I should it is not because of my husband, friends, it is because of me. Regardless of the details, Jesus can give me love to give, but I have to do the work to stay in that place of receiving (so that I can give).
So, this book…Yes, that’s the thing I want to share. This one paragraph says so much. Chapter One excerpt:
“Yes, there are frustrated wives, just as there are frustrated engineers, airplane pilots, and karate instructors. But the frustration does not stem from the nature of the work; rather, it comes from the boredom inevitable in any job done poorly or unimaginatively. (OUCH and HELLO!!! I like this woman. She’s a truth-teller.) A creative counterpart is more than just a helper. She is a woman who, having chosen (or having found herself in) the vocation of wife and mother, decides to learn and grow in all the areas of this role and to work as hard as if she were aiming for the presidency of a corporation.”
The fact is, I did sign up for this. No one forced me to marry, and no one forced me to marry the specific man I married. I am so lucky to have had that choice and my daughters will have that choice as well. Maybe we chose or will choose other vocations as well, but that doesn’t mean that we are not responsible for being excellent at this particular vocation of wife or mother or just woman. It’s a beautiful task. Women are amazing, and I want to keep perpetuating that good image, especially in a world where men and women alike value women by their weight, looks, or accomplishments outside the home. Hey, I think weight, looks, and accomplishments outside the home are fine and dandy…but they are not the most important thing, by far! We can, by God’s grace, be professionals at this. I am encouraged and challenged by this!
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Secret Place: The Job of Our Lives

I am just struck tonight by a secret that I don’t want to keep secret. There is a secret place, and those of us who are “in Christ” know this…we know that we could be in a living hell on earth but we have a Life hidden with God in Christ, and that life can ALWAYS be thriving, abundant, lush, full of laughter and pure joy. Our Life makes us strong and shining in our life, if we develop this Life. It’s a secret place, we go there alone; it’s the throne of God, the lap of God, the face of God. Friends can remind us of that place, oh thank the Lord for friends that draw us to remember or find this intimacy with our Father, but we go there alone. We look eye to eye with Him, and by faith, we dwell there. We connect, like when you lay down next to your child or spouse or dog (haha) and just have some face time. And this is where we draw our strength, perspective, focus, and LIFE.

It’s like finding out you won a million bucks, going to sleep, and when you wake up, you remember you won million bucks yesterday! It wasn’t a dream. YAY! That’s how the secret place is. There is relief, there is always good news, there is something beyond all this, and we have it right now. WOW! Life gets so hectic and troublesome, and I mess up so very much, and I’m so tired of myself…and I want some relief. I go to the Lord and lay myself before Him in the secret place, and it’s an oasis for my spirit! I go and I say, “Jesus, I don’t have to feel anything, I come by faith! I want to give myself to YOU, You don’t have to give anything to me!” But He does. He leads us beside still waters, He restores our soul. There really is a hiding place, an oasis…we can wake up from the sometimes bad dream of life and enter into our eternal life, anytime, any place, through intimacy and connection to His Word, praising Him, repentance, surrender, talking, listening, teaching, friends who love Him.
Keeping our life consumed with Jesus is THE job of our lives. I personally don’t have room to get caught up with anything else, if I am going to make knowing Him the job of my life. I do other things, I care about other things, hopefully all that He has told me to do and care about, but those things ARE NOT the job of my life. Those things are just…obedience…they’ll come and go. They’re passing. I wasn’t created for them. I used to think that stuff for God, stuff that was about God and His people, and knowing God personally was the same effort, the same job. Oops! It sure does take a load off when you can obey the Lord without all that burden. The job of my life is to know Him and believe Him, and while that is not heavy, it is all consuming work.
One thing I run to the Lord and hide from is myself. I just want to be so honest here. When I write a blog or talk at a concert or something, I am always honest and I am always 100% myself. But most likely when I am writing or talking or singing, I have just come from having intense and intentional times with the Lord, I am somewhat drunk in the Spirit, and if you see freedom, or confidence, or joy, or truth, you are seeing Jesus. Sometimes I am consistent with this “being intentional” with the Lord, and I am very blessed when He helps me do that. I love those steady times, such ground gets covered, oh it’s just so wonderful and I’m an idiot to not continue in it! But many other times, I’m sitting in a pit, and I’m a fool. A literal, biblical fool. The good news is, despite my example, we ALL have the opportunity offered to us to have the most fantastic relationship with God EVER MADE, if we will go with Him and make it. We can go where “no man has gone before”…if we want.
I wrote a song in the past month and I don’t really like it, but there’s one line I love. It says: “I am ruined for anything less, I am ruined for anything less than the fullness.” Yeah. May we be ruined for anything less. Unable to go back after what we have experienced in Christ. Lose our appetite for the world. Move on past baby milk, move on past old sins. Crave repentance and obedience and God’s delight in us, and not have room for craving other’s attention, approval, and applause. Forget that stuff ever ruled us. Amen.
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Content to Go, Content to Stay

It really has been a long time since I blogged! Usually Monday evenings are my only chance to write (and do many other things!) since my mom and dad take my girls for the night. Yay! I absolutely love having them home, but it is definitely nice to have 24 hours to do other things. Like clean the basement where 1/4 of it was gutted due to mold, prepare for leading songs at Open House on Saturday, get stuff in piles for Goodwill, go for a walk…You get the picture.

So, of all the things rolling around in my mind, what do I actually want to write about?
I will tell you that last week we prayed about moving to Cincinnati. Jack really wants to be back in youth or college-age ministry, and we have always talked about being open to moving. Now when it got down to it, when we truly were considering the move, it was so overwhelming. How do you do it? Oh my gosh! I had visions of myself grabbing onto the front step and not letting go. I thought, “What about that playground we just built outside one year ago? Okay. That settles it. We cannot leave it there all alone!!” But of course the realistic sacrifice, the hardest thing to let go of, are our family and friends. Grandad in the nursing home, Jack’s mom rarely in good health, my mom and dad, their closeness to our girls, friends who are family. Not that any of the family needs us; we are not in that kind of position or relationship where anyone depends on us, but just being around, mainly for them to get hugs from grandkids, is what makes my heart hurt when I really think about moving. And Cincinnati was just a couple hours up the road!
Jack said no to the position…Just was not the right thing at the right time. But at the same time we were discussing that possible move, we had sent off our resume and application to a nondenominational Christian boarding school/academy in Texas. With all the pulling on my heart strings aside, I absolutely love the idea of moving to live at this place! It really would be a fun adventure for our family, all of our needs met, including school for the girls if we decided to let them go instead of homeschool some day. The job is resident parents, and we would live with 8 other kids/teens. Today we got an email saying they would like to have a “phone visit”.
I don’t begin to think I know what will come of this. There’s a part of me that says, “Are ya crazy? Why would you leave when you are so loved here?” but then there’s another part of me that says, “But Jack isn’t getting to do what he loves here, OR be with his family much for that matter, and it is awesome to know that we are free to go…and come back, too, if we want to.” I can honestly say I am happy here, and have a very full life. But certain ideas would get me out of here in an instant, such as the idea of starting a home or care point for street kids in Ethiopia, or something where as a family we are getting to be ourselves, use our gifts, and share Jesus with people who need Him. I don’t know if the Texas thing fits that or not. I know that my love of discipleship, parenting, teaching, and singing would all come in handy, plus my desire to keep learning Spanish. I love the idea of my family getting out the crudilicious Ohio Valley and be free from many allergies. My family would get to live on a farm and have lots of cool opportunities. This is a part of me that I can’t escape: I love love love the idea of living with the people I am called to. When I was a missionary, that was basically my only request. I needed my own space to call my own, just a room and a door because I know I’m an introvert and have to hide away sometimes, but I did not want to drive across town to be with my people. I wanted to do what they did, live, speak, eat, suffer, celebrate, just like them. I didn’t need to be taught that in mission school; God gave me that instinct and I still have it. I think it’s important in making a decision to see if what you’re considering goes along with some core parts of who you are.
Of course, being married that can be quite tricky! I require sunshine, I really do–Jack hates hot climates. I am drawn to international places, poor, dirty–Jack? Not so much. But he balances me out, and I absolutely trust that God brought us together as a check and balance. If we are both walking with God, He will lead the way. I really am content to go, content to stay. My great adventure is Jesus Himself, not where He leads or what He does through me.
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A New Day…Tomorrow?

I have a lot to do today…and just spent an hour on the couch watching the latest episode of Drop Dead Diva and eating cookies…so I will write quickly. 🙂 The past week and a half has been such a blur for me. I really really really want to get back on my feet again, and several times I thought I was but fell down again. Not literally. That would be funny though.

Basically a week and a half ago, we gutted a part of our basement which had mold and I’ve been sleeping in Selah’s room upstairs ever since. I’ve felt tired, haven’t been making the best choices (hence the cookies), and just feel overwhelmed. Today’s Monday and I was thinking that today would start fresh and new, but I guess my whole family is zonked because we all slept 12 hours last night and weren’t exactly shining this morning.
Anyway, one thing that I am truly excited yet also overwhelmed about is that Jack and I, after so many years of talking about it, are applying for ministry positions that would take us out of Kentucky. I swing from side to side on the pendulum, thinking, “Why would we do that? because our friends and church and family are here! That’s crazy!” to “We don’t want to feel stuck in this house and this job. We want Jack to get to spend his work hours on things he cares about and is gifted in. We want to go on adventures to make us stronger as a family and couple. We don’t want to have regrets; we want our kids to have a variety of experiences!”
So, you know, I am so excited about this possibly actually happening…So excited about what may be out there for us. After what we have been through the past few years, just to imagine that way of life really being a thing of the past thrills me. Sickness and bad work experience gone. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Already, this summer has amazed me. Getting to make this CD, getting to do such fun things with my kids, getting to homeschool and be involved in enrichment, getting to lead worship at church sometimes…those were all things I had completely died to. I surrendered them and did not expect them to come back around, but God had perfect timing. In fact, when they came back around, they came back to an entirely new person. The absence of all of those things changed me, because I found the Lord in such a fresh all consuming way. He is my Life, and all these details of what I’m involved in and how I spend my time are led by Him, but they are not my life. They are not my priority or the real meat of my existence. They’re just what I do with this body as He fills it. That may sound really strange, but to me it changes everything.
So, back to being overwhelmed…I just need a few faithful days under my belt, days where by God’s dwelling in me I make good choices and lead my self into submission. I wrote myself a note one day a while back, saying, “How about if you just stop falling into the pit in the first place, friend? Then you won’t have to do all this work to get out of it.” Duh, right? This one took me by surprise, and I definitely feel a Hand reaching down to help. The knowledge that I cannot stand on my own two feet is a remarkable help because it reminds me to come to Him instead of muster up something good in me…
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Yemi and the Terrible Threes

Hello world. From inside my house today I have looked out yet not dared to go out. I have been tired and achy since doing a lot of work on Labor Day Weekend (haha–laboring on Labor Day, how funny), and wondering if it’s allergies because I am allergic to both mold and everything useful for killing it (that’s the labor we did–ugh), not to mention the cold and dreary rain globe we’re in…But regardless of what causes my desire to stay in and warm and dry and on the couch, we blew off church tonight to do so.

We have our first enrichment homeschooling thingy in the morning, and I am SO excited! Praying I feel awake and well enough to do it! I believe I will, and I plan to be in bed super early tonight to help that happen. But what I want to vent about tonight is Yemi and her bad case of the terrible threes. I am so completely frustrated. I’m frustrated because it is not just random events or traits that just come out at certain times in certain situations. I’m frustrated because I really don’t know what to do in response anymore. I’m frustrated because I keep swinging from one extreme to the other—I’m either really kind or really not.
Honestly, the biggest problem is that she is immature. She’s three, and I’m not around a lot of three year olds, so it’s probably me more than her. I am simply so tired of her whining, crying, and begging to watch TV; I’m tired of her pooping in her pants and then saying it was an accident and that she’ll never do it again (shut up, it’s not funny!); I’m tired of her simply not caring about things I think she should care about. I wonder if she’s not getting enough attention and if homeschooling Selah is hard on her, and I bet it is, but either way, she is not adjusting and Selah’s been home for 4 months. Sometimes I think she’s just living a blissfully ignorant little toddler life…why would she want to grow up? But most kids DO indeed want to grow up a little bit. They feel pride in themselves when they show self control or do something. Yemi. Does. Not. Care.
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It Is Worth It

Have you ever heard that song “I just can’t seem to get it right today…”? It’s on an iPad or some Apple product commercial I think. That is exactly how I feel about this entire week so far. When you consider time at the pediatrician’s office a good counseling session, you know things are rough!

I think I just feel that as I am feeling better and getting out into the social world again (Ah, it’s nice out there!), I might be getting out of balance. I might not be setting good enough boundaries. I don’t know. Only the Spirit of God can clue me in, and I know He will, and as I prayed about it this morning I had a peace in knowing that if I needed to, I could make about 4 phone calls and let go of everything that I have invited into my schedule. That’s nice to know.
But I think the deeper issue I’m experiencing–and this is just total honesty here because I don’t fear people’s opinions at all anymore–is that I am selfish and not content giving my full attention and giftings to these three people I have been entrusted with. I realized at Yemi’s 3 year check up today that perhaps why I am so frustrated with her and her little 3 year old behavior is because I want us all to co-exist in this house peaceably without me having to drop whatever else I’d rather be attending to. OUCH.
When I took 5 minutes to just lay in the bed alone with Yemi at her nap time today, I have never seen such smiles! (I mean, since 2 days ago when she had ice cream at her Mimi’s!) She is so good at playing alone that I guess I’ve gotten used to going about my merry way as well. Selah on the other hand is the same girl she was at birth; I can sum it up in one word. Demanding. So between Yemi really needing more attention from me and Selah needing to stop demanding more attention from me, I feel very alone and very thankful that I only have two kids! I don’t have someone rescuing me at dinnertime every night. Jack’s work schedule leaves me alone with the kids, let’s see, something like 24-6! It’s just me, and lately when someone asks me to do something (something that at some point I probably said, “Hey, if you need someone to do that sometime, give me a call”) I find myself obviously saying no but then also being a little peeved, like a cartoon character pops up in my mind and yells, “WHAT DO YOU ALL WANT FROM ME?WHAT MORE COULD I GIVE???”
It’s like if I give someone milk at breakfast, you better not cross me by asking for juice instead. Watch yourselves! 🙂 Okay, joking aside, through my counseling session at the pediatrician’s office and blogging today, I can clearly see that I have gotten in over my head and my attention needs to come back home. It really gives me joy to know that God loves my family (and me) enough to demand our priorities get straight. I hate busyness and a full mind. I want my heart and mind open for the Lord at all times. I know there are tasks to fulfill, but if there really isn’t a time and space for those tasks, it is clearly not the right season for them. Pray for me and may God bless your homes and schedules, my friends!
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A Walk with A Friend

Tonight I got to spend an hour and a half with a young lady whom I have known for at least 7 years. She was 12 years old when I met her! I love and admire her and her parents, and as we walked together this evening, a lesson made itself abundantly clear.

When you grow up in a good home, you most likely had three balanced meals a day…Therefore, when you played ball in the yard or at school, you had the energy. You probably took vitamins or at least someone was making sure you had your nutrients, so you got up in the morning feeling good (or at least by 2nd period, you were feeling good!) You most likely had a bedtime or a curfew, a time limit maybe on the TV or video games, all so that you would do well on that test in the morning and not become a zombie like some of your friends who didn’t have such involved parents. Call it strict; call it rules; call it whatever you want…Good parents take care of these vital parts of who we are as people, in hopes that we will catch on and do it for ourselves when we are on our own. It is no coincidence that people who eat healthy can run miles, and people who don’t stay up until 2 a.m. everyday can think clearly and have better job performance. It is no coincidence. It’s not luck and maybe not genes. It’s discipline…Grace, yes, but discipline.
So in the same way, families who cultivate a relationship with God and surround their sons and daughters with godly instruction, prayer and devotional time, playing Christian music, going to church and having Christian friends over, even time set aside each day as “a quiet time”, as well as maybe things like Bible Drill, youth camps, and AWANA are making a framework of faith for the whole family to live by. It is no coincidence that kids in strong Christian families often pray to receive Christ by the time they’re 10 and often rededicate their lives to Christ by the time they go to college, because they are surrounded by God and the things of God. And it is no coincidence that when they leave home, they may not stay “close to God.” I think maybe here’s why…
This friend was telling me that when she was in high school, her whole life was what went on daily in that school and every night was preparation for the next day at that school. Those people, those halls, those clothes, that was life. Whatever her teachers led her to think about throughout the day, those were her thoughts most of her waking hours. Whatever her friends led her heart to care about through the day, those were her desires most of her waking hours. Whether we’re at school, work, home, camp, whatever, we are being molded. The course of the river of our heart is being directed!!! All the time!!! So, when we leave the nest and there’s no more disciplines as part of our schedule, it only takes a couple months to feel LOST. The disciplines cultivated in a godly home weren’t anything in themselves, the rituals are not holy in themselves, but if a person was led to genuine prayer, worship, Bible Study, and personal time with God weekly, they may not even realize what is missing when they’re on their own and feeling distant from God.
C.S Lewis said that we daily get up and brainwash ourselves! I know a lot of people probably have a problem with that statement, but I get it and I live it. We renew our minds daily and we get lost really quick if we don’t. As my pastor and his wife have said, “We do not follow our hearts. We LEAD our hearts.” We lead our hearts to setting still before the Lord, giving, worshipping, meeting with other believers. I don’t think young adults are falling away from God because the church necessarily failed them or is too traditional or because their relationships with God were not real enough or deep enough. I think some of them are falling away for the exact same reason that I fall away so regularly!! Because they don’t realize that it isn’t GOD that is missing all of a sudden, but rather the things that helped them grow in Him that are missing all of a sudden. It’s no coincidence that if we eat Twinkies for a week, we feel like crap! And it’s no coincidence that if I don’t open my Bible, meet with a believer, or come to God in confession and praise for a whole week, that I will feel lost and confused and scared that we have lost Him.
We have been fed a lie from the enemy that we are “not under law” and don’t need disciplines, and that God is always with us, so that’s enough. We’ve been fed the lie from the enemy that there isn’t more to grasp in the Lord anyway, as long as we have these basics from our childhood. I have personally given into the lie from the enemy that this yucky feeling I have when I have not been spending quality time with the Lord is God being mad at me (for my lack of discipline and consistency), instead of the truth which is that yucky feeling is just this hole I have that my depth with Him used to fill. We have to lead our heart to the Living Water and drink! It doesn’t have to look the same everyday, and it is okay to use whatever resources we need. It took me forever to realize that it was okay to use a devotional or Bible Study workbook instead of just the Bible. I have not depended on other believers much on my journey, but I am learning to! I believe if I move one inch in the direction of God–one page of my Bible, one moment of surrender, one verse of praise–He runs a mile to greet me and help me awaken my heart to Him.
So just like Daniel prayed in the morning, noon, and night–whether we’re just now taking a step out of our home at 19 or 33 year old stay-at-home-momma like me or a 59 year old Grandma, we are all in the same boat! If we want to know the Lord, we can’t expect Him to burn a bush! I am challenged to do something 3x a day, even if it is just for 5 or 10 minutes, to direct my heart, soul, mind, and strength to God. A verse to memorize. A praise CD in the player or on Pandora. A podcast. 3 paragraphs from a book by an author you know is diving into the depths of God. A short prayer walk. The answer of how to get “close to Him” again is never out of reach. He put the desire for that in us in the first place.
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A Rough Day So Far!

I realize that many times on my blog I am only sitting down to write when I feel good and life is great and God is teaching me something cool. What’s the point of sharing about the rough days? Just sounds like complaining! But…that is not sharing the whole truth and nothing but the truth! Today has been a rough day so far, and it is great to know that I can share it, have my mind renewed with truth from the Word and the Lord, and move on!

It’s nothing big, just all these little things, like last night I got in bed early and couldn’t sleep for at least 2 and a half hours. I had a horrible headache and just felt miserable. Then when I got up this morning, I got on the scale and after about 10 weeks of exercising 45 minutes 5 days a week and being wise and self-controlled in my eating, found that I still weigh exactly the same weight. I went out for a walk and the scariest, fattest, growliest dog on my road was not in his pen and came tearing across his yard to me while his owner screamed at him. I’m afraid of dogs in the first place, and all I could do was whimper, “God, please protect me. God, please protect me.” I really was terrified, and thankfully the dog stopped at the edge of his yard. I was so angry and unfortunately had to spend the rest of my walk processing through what happened and discussing with myself whether or not I should go past that house ever again…and coming up with ugly threats if I ever got to speak with that owner, which I do plan on doing, minus the threats.
Then I come in the house to my sweet girls and their beautiful mess…but the mess really lies in the dust and dirt and dishes that has little to do with them. I’ve already gotten a lot of that cleaned, and I am so thankful just to have a house, but sometimes the constantness (making up words here) of keeping my house decent wears on me. Especially when I have my darling husband who piles stuff up in corners to collect dust and NEVER get put away…and then when he needs whatever he piled somewhere, he doesn’t know where it is…and if I moved it, I’m responsible for where I put it and with the sheer amount of these objects I’m talking about, seriously, how can I remember? Plus, our house has some issues (like leaks in the basement and projects from a year and a half ago that never got finished yet the materials to finish the projects lay in piles inside my house). I am telling you, if a dump truck magically appeared at my house with 2 guys capable of carrying out stuff…
Okay, enough. Back to doing what I need to do, and at this very moment I am turning on some worship music and letting God do His magic in me! His mercies are new every morning! He is my Portion! He is my Joy! Bless the Lord, o my soul, and forget not all His benefits!!!!! We will conquer the dust and the aggravation with praise!