This will be quick today…
I am tired of struggling! Internally, externally, I am ready to give up AGAIN! My anxiousness, or the busyness of my mind I could say, is fixed on just wanting my life to work. I want to be well, I want to be able to do the things God has put in my life to do, I want to sleep and wake up rested, I want to stop feeling disappointed and disappointing. I am past wanting to do more than just take care of my family, home, and personal life…well, most days anyway…I really just want to get up and have a normal life, which to me means fitting in the most important things and a couple fun extras without all this struggle!
Anyway, so “the joy of the Lord is my strength”. I heard somebody mention this and explain it in a new way, and I was thinking about it more…The joy of the Lord (His delight in me, His happiness in me, His NON-disappoint in me) is my strength. When someone important is not frustrated with you, even when you are frustrated with yourself, you gain a little strength. As frustrated as I am with sickness and tiredness and constant struggle to be a decent wife, mom, friend, daughter, granddaughter, minister (we are all ministers!), He isn’t frustrated. He will fulfill His purposes in the midst of this, not when it is over. Now. In the middle. Here I am, Lord, in the middle!
