I wrote on Wednesday about having anger issues. I had just set up camp in a pit of disappointments and all that “should not be.” And the next morning, I woke up with the same propensity to go there. But before I could raise my head, the Lord asked me, “Do you want another day like that or do you want help?” What are two words God loves? HELP and ME, preferably in that order!
I asked for help and I felt that I had a choice laid before me: to begin putting good thoughts in and shunning the bad thoughts or pick up where I left off the day before in my ranting and raving. By His help and just the sheer fact that I hated the way I felt, I did the first. Before jumping into school, Selah and I wrote in our journals. I made some lists…that helps my brain work through things so I can be at peace. I started making lists of my disappointments, my responsibilities, my needs, and that really helped, just seeing it all laid out on the page. Just like the Serenity prayer, the Lord helped me to see what I could actually change with a little bit of organization and communication, and what I would have to accept. There were already little changes I could make that eased some of my frustration. The Lord is my help.
Later that day, my friend from out of town called and said she felt like coming up! I was able to talk through my two biggest problems with her, and God helped me by just hearing the words coming out of my mouth. They were words I can’t ignore and push down, but they were also words I didn’t like, words I refuse to keep repeating or dwelling on. It was how I felt and that’s okay…but there’s a time to set it aside and put on grace, thanks, perseverance, and joy. The Lord is my help!
The next day I spoke with someone else and here are some tidbits that I’d like to share with anyone who might be reading:
*Never say never. It hasn’t happened yet? It feels impossible? Think of Abraham and Sarah. IF it is in the Lord’s plans, it WILL come to pass.
*There is a difference between hoping and expecting. I am still chewing on this one, but I think it means that expecting has a demanding element to it and hope has a submission element to it. I hope for many things, but in that hope I submit to the Lord.
*Ask for the Lord’s help in moving from being a victim to being a survivor. Be proud that you made it through something, that you are making it through something. That’s a positive spin and quite frankly, we deserve it.
The Lord loves it when we ask for help. Keep asking!