It’s late

oh my word, it is late. I haven’t been up until 1 a.m. in ages, and for good reason! But tonight, I ate too much chocolate and I have acid reflux and can’t sleep. Pitiful, I know! It may set off my sleep clock for quite a while unfortunately, but sometimes its natural consequences such as these that wake me to reality…i.e. make me stop eating too much chocolate.

I never was very good at kicking bad boyfriends to the curb.
But I’m still trying.
What i really want to write about at this crazy late hour before I start my fun week of fall break with my girls, is: Careers. Currently, I do not have one. Since the age of 14, my heart was set on being a missionary. A missionary who learns languages, loves on people, does basic health care and education where needed, writes, and sings. That really is my heart right there, all wrapped up in one sentence. But what a big weird situation I’m in, seeing as how I am in a little town in Ky, doing very little of this dream job description.
How did I get here, how am I going to get out, am I supposed to get out? Ah, who knows except the Lord. I usually don’t get too worried about, at least not these days because my life is full with what I DO have in my hands, leaving less time to care about what I do NOT have in my hands. But lately, with some job issues and such, and a few tiny thoughts about the future, I’ve been thinking…If being on the mission field isn’t in the cards for me, what is? What is supposed to become of these parts of me that are not being used?
Here are some ideas of what I could go back to school for: Teaching ESL. Counseling (mental health/grief/pastoral/wellness). Campus ministry. Special Education. Something I could do with writing/languages. (I love words.) Hmm. I just never considered that I would need a skill or degree that would be useful in the United States; when I was in college, I was thinking about underdeveloped nations, and to be honest, I still am. But I can’t imagine, with my health, and now with my daughters, living in the midst of that anymore. I didn’t have a back up plan.
My girls will have to double major and get a sensible Masters Degree, that’s all I ask. 🙂

One Reply to “It’s late”

  1. I’m thinking about fore going antarctica and going back to school in January as well. Like you I never considered that I’d be living here in the states. I just knew I’d be in Africa. Since I was eight years old my heart’s desire has been to serve overseas as a full time missionary trying to love people as God loves them and sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I’ve had to reevaluate and I think going back to school is the right next step for me. I’ve been considering social work and perhaps working for an international adoption agency like Gladney. I still have a lot of praying to do but it feels right and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt this feeling. 🙂

    What is a good day to call you and I will call!!! Or call me anytime. Do you have my home number??

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