A New Year

New Years has always been a big deal to me. I’m big on FOCUS. Otherwise, oreos are my breakfast until I get up the gumption to FOCUS. So right now I’m looking for info on all kinds of things. There are the small things like how do we rearrange our house/furniture to make each room as functional as it can be, but it’s also the big things like “we can honestly and earnestly homeschool? Do we have it in us?”

Here are my basic thoughts, or “end vision”-what I want in the end…
*I want to live surrendered, at the foot of Christ, enjoying Him, worshipping Him with my obedience of being a wife, mom, and daughter of Him, but not getting all freaked out about making everything happen. Loosely holding on to life, even compellings, even callings. Just obey and chill.
*I want to use my spiritual gifts until Jesus returns: encouraging, giving, intercession, missions, mercy. When I have the chance from GOD to serve outside my home, I don’t want to just do something. I want to be specifically gifted for it and happy to be in on it—and all unto the Lord, not to man. I don’t want to look around and see if anyone gives me a thumbs up. i’m tired of that! I want to use my gifts for the Lord!
*My marriage is going to get better every week, through prayer, learning, changing behaviors and time together. Wisdom about words and timing and loving another person how they need to feel loved. Marriage being fun, a place where neither person is the judge or the child.
*Raising up the girls in the truth and happy heart of the Lord; I want them to know Him intimately not just about Him. Meeting christian friends will be wonderful for them; praying about groups they will join.
*This year, we decide on Selah’s elementary education, or at least the first year of it. Lots of research and prayer there!
*This year, I feel like I need to realize the clues that I am getting exhausted and stay very flexible regardless of who is inconvenienced. I need to put those ducks in a row, and then be disciplined (argh!) to get what I need each day so that this sickness doesn’t sneak upon me like it does.
*We want to work on our house, since we are always, always here! for 8 years, we’ve really disliked some things and some were just gross (carpet where 4 dogs, um, lived.) I was the queen of the “only buy what you must have because we need to practice equality with our global neighbors” parade, and we have changed very little about the house. But, although I still feel the same way as i did during my “reign” as queen, I never fully got an answer from God about what to do in regard to this situation of living in “The United Excess of America” except “be still and know Me.” So, I have, and I don’t see things in such black and white wrong and right anymore; I just sort of feel what we can do and what we can’t do. What we can give and what we can’t. It is not monetized or written law. But when you lay it down and

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