I am so thankful for seasons, both literally and figuratively, and WHOA did we just come out of a long winter! I know it’s irrational, but there were times during the winter months, with the horror-film-looking-trees, enveloping grey skies, and icy rainy days that I wondered if spring really was going to ever come back. This year it seemed to especially drag on…all the while, in the same months, our adoption turned from a happy autumn kind of feeling to the dead of winter.
January, February, and March were very stressful and anxious times for us. Yemi had not gained a single pound in 2 or 3 months, and looked very frail in her pictures; this was such a change from her first picture, and we were very concerned. We were assured everything was fine, until one month later, the weekend we did not pass court, we found out that the babies were not doing well at all. They didn’t have the formula they needed; the only reason we got this news (instead of when it was too late) was because a new nurse came into the orphanage and sounded the alarms, by the mercy of God. For a month after that, our babies were on foods given to children who are malnourished or starving. Later, I was to find out that this nurse literally saved ten lives in that orphanage: There is a good chance that Yemi was one of them. During this time of unknowns, having in one hand the promises God had specifically given to us and in the other hand the facts and realities about children in Africa, we simply waited. We spent a lot of time in the Word and in prayer. The Lord was a strong refuge, and we put our hope in Him, learning more and more respect for His wisdom, and more and more trust in that wisdom. But we also lost sleep, cried, stressed, and overate!
During this time, this song I wrote back in 2003 came to my mind a lot and helped me worship through some of the hard days. Thought I’d share the lyrics today:
My heart overflows with Your goodness, Lord
My lips will recount the days
where You have come through, where You have rescued
where I’ve stood in awe and sang Your praise;
But when there’s no cloud to lead me, and when there’s no sun that shines
standing alone on this open road, recall to my mind–Heart, listen inside–
*Because of Your love, Your great love
we are not consumed by anything but You
Because of Your compassion, O Lord, we will not fear whatever we may walk through
And every day, every morning, whatever we wake up to
Your mercies are new, Your mercies are new, Your mercies are new…
Winter is like faith to me. And spring seems like sight.